A well organised, well attended, well lubricated meeting in Nick's old haunt. A wine bar that takes up part of his office. COOL!
Six wines to investigate. And a myriad of possible answers, giving us at best a 1 in 10 chance of a right answer. As most of us would struggle to tell the difference between red and white wine, this was quite an ask.
But ask away we did.
Just for the record we worked in teams of four, were given six wines to sample, and a big black bucket to spit the bad ones into, so a lot of spitting.
All we had to do was choose between TEN countries of origin. The choices being:- USA, UK, Spain, Chile, Argentina, Italy, Ukraine, Ghana, The Maldives, Jamaica, Taiwan, Strood, Alaska, Afghanistan, Mongolia, and last but by no means least - France.
That being bad enough we were then given another TEN options for which wine it was. For instance for a white wine we were offered these choices:- Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Pinto Gris, Verdiccio, Sauvignon Blanc, Chablis, Vino Verde, Blended Rubbish, Gavi di Gavi, Zinfandel, Elderflower Wine, Sugar Water, Vimto, Cream Soda, Riesling, Muscat, Chenin Blanc, and last but by no means least - Viognier.
Some may say - TOO MANY CHOICES TO MAKE A DECISION BASED ON ANYTHING BUT SHEER LUCK. I say 'some' may say. may I make it clear at this juncture that this does NOT include me. I am merely recording the event for posterity.
So we all tasted, swilled, sucked our teeth, swallowed or spat, cogitated, discussed, argued and finally made our team decisions. Six wines, six possible countries, six possible wine types, maximum points = 12 per team.
How on God's great earth Bell's Bellends (Nick's team names, don't blame me) got 6 is anyone' guess. On the bright side Brian's Belles got 4. The also-rans of Branning's Buggers and Brice's Ballsacks got a measly 1 each. Losers!!!
Our hosts and organisers - Nick and Chris.
Having tasted and spat we de-camped to the restaurant for a well earned plate of Bangers and Mash. And a quiz.
Fifteen arcane questions involving the sexual, political, economic historical, psychological, mythical and practical use of wine. All capable of answering using GOOGLE. Brice's Ballsacks cracked that methinks!!
The newly minted branch of the English Defense League (GDL. The GASS Defence league), who spent way to much competition time planning their attack on a poor defenseless solicitors office on the morrow, and drumming up support for said attack, went down with all paving slabs blazing on a wankers score of 5.
Brian's Belles, who cheated like hell, but badly, got a poor 6, beaten even by the Bellends on 7, but the Ballsacks creamed it (as that is where the cream comes from - isn't it?) with 12. I'm sorry, 12 out of 15??? The questions were Mastermind daft, impossible to answer, but who cares.
They still lost.
The winners went on a wild celebration hearing they had won a wine tasting in London with model Carla Delevigne, but at such an extreme surcharge that they settled for a crystal wineglass each, and thought themselves lucky!!
I hate Bellends!
But fair play to the winners.
The next up was the GDL (keep up, the GASS equivalent of the EDL, a rioters club) recruitment drive. The meet was for breakfast at the Tiger Moth PH before setting off to firebomb the Medway Enterprise Center (seriously?). Meet at 10.00am, bring your own petrol and bottle. Sorry, late news, the riot isn't until 8.00pm. slight GDL glitch. Nothing that can't be sorted.
[GDL members, be aware that GCHQ AI will have already scanned this post and copped your names for future online prosecution - so don't tell them your names PIke, Owen Brunning, Gary Easdown, Phil Cockerton, Len Smith, just saying, be careful to keep it low key guys]
After that came an impassioned and heartrending plea by the current Chairman to be re-elected next year, which was basically agreed - great guy that Branning.
To cement his re-election Chairman Branning then organised a GASS golf day which has already garnered 18 players (and guaranteed that Keith will lose his membership of his golf club). Tuesday 27th August. Texas Scramble.
Even weirder was that at 10.45pm most members were still at the tables, a comment on the comfy feel of the venue I guess. until someone shouted 'Tarmacers! A bunch of big sweaty smelly oily bastards had closed the exit to the car park on the trivial excuse of resurfacing half of Rochester. Bastards!
But all good things have to come to an end and so well done Nick and Chris!!
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