Held at OLIVERS in Rochester and organised by Nick and Wayne, great concept, great meeting, really, really funny. Private room in Oliver's with a very nice dinner. The members were introduced to Joe, our resident magician for the evening, who performed a few warm up tricks and then we were split into four teams and each team was taken outside and taught one magic trick. Then we had the performances. First up was The Chairman, who did a really good trick involving a quite complicated manipulation of a great big dice in a box, very clever. Followed by Chris performing, or part performing, part Joe getting stuck in, a card trick. Not bad. Then Phil balancing a cup of water on John's head with out spilling a drop. Then came the celebrity act of the evening. Brian and Debbie McGee, a truly wonderful magician accompanied by his lovely and gorgeous assistant Debbie (aka Bellie, and boy, did he show his belly). As the person writing this drivel I would normally praise myself to the heavens, but in this case I have to say that full credit goes to Debbie for true comedic value added to my natural gift for magic. Bloody brilliant! A really enjoyable evening was had by all with a great twist on the table magic concept. Almost as good as the GASS magic night held many years ago where we all purchased a quality trick and performed in front of the membership one at a time. That was back in March 2016..... If you want a walk down memory lane then use the link below to access the old minutes from 2012-2016. Scroll down through some hilarious memories of meetings gone by to near the end of the file, and there we all were. It really is worth scrolling through our history. There are actually FOUR volumes in all going right back to where the GASS book left off. And here is another memory from those old days of yore. Gallagher's Quarry, 2016, with the biggest stone ever dug out! The running joke that Brian wanted to be buried on his country estate (love saying that!) under a fuck off great big stone. Well Ian obliged with the 5.4 ton monster back in 2016, and Hugh obliged a few weeks back by bringing up a 22 ton 360 excavator and shifting the bugger to its final resting place in the new Stede Court Estate Garden of Remembrance. Now partially finished to honour first the passing of Sara's dad, and hopefully me in 30 years time. I really do recommend trawling through VOLUMES 1-4 of the old minutes, it is so funny, and may even contain ideas for re-runs of old meetings! Well done Nick and Wayne, great evening, many thanks!

A lovely Rochester pub meeting, BattleKarts in Sittingbourne, a take away dinner and a visit to The CUBE in Docklands. Not bad for the winter months. JANUARY - THE ROYAL CROWN in Rochester for dinner. A pub meeting, most winter meetings are pub meetings, at The Royal Crown in Rochester, a nice dinner in convivial surroundings. Alaways a nice quite one after New Years Eve. Thanks to Ron and Ray. FEBRUARY - An ENTERTAINMENT meeting, BATTLEKART Normally when driving Go karts the venue get all protective over their babies, you get a real bollocking if you bash into another kart, sissies! This is different. A battle while driving go karts, organised by Stuart, with a dinner at The Tudor Rose pub afterwards. Much more like it. Well done Stuart and Graham, good choice, never done that before. MARCH - PUB MEETING - TAKE AWAY DINNER A take away dinner at a pub in Rochester, The Rising Sun. A real old school GASS meeting organised by Nick which featured a dinner comprising of an actual take-away being delivered to a drinks-only pub. And a proper Medway pub at that. On the corner of a residential street of terraced houses. Sort of place that would be full of old men in flat caps nursing a pint of mild and bitter and petting a whippet. If it was in Yorkshire...... This was full,of shaven heads and bull mastiffs, but who cares? We are big boys and so we crowded together for safety and drank our sarsaparilla like men. We couldn't wait to tuck in! On the bright side (and somewhat unsurprisingly) Nick came in several hundred pounds under budget on this one so we can only say congratulations!!! GASS LUNCH CLUB at The CUBE in Docklands With lunch afterwards at Hawksmoor Steakhouse. A good team turned up for this very upmarket version of the TV game THE CUBE. A few sherberts before in a cocktail bar to make sure we would be crap at these games of reaction and logic. Then it was pick your team pairs time. As one of the oldest there Brian was keen to get a young upstart as a teammate, someone brimming with vim and vigour, somebody like say Wayne, whippet thin, strong as steel, kick like a mule, or maybe Owen, tall, fit, squash player, supple, youngest member. Or maybe Ian, strong as an ox, fast as a striking thingamybob. There was plenty to choose from. Who did I get??????????? Pete, about to spring into lazer like action. Yup, the bastards all teamed up and left me with Pete! The oldest, certainly not the fastest or the supplest, and already standing on the outside of three large gin & tonics. Pete noticed my initial alarm, I really must try harder to keep my emotions from showing so plainly on my face. He was miffed. Fair enough. As far as I was concerned I was fucked , so honours even. But we teamed up. Had too, we were the last two :) Let the games begin................... Complicated, active, real puzzels, all sorts of different games testing all sorts of real and varied skills - AND PETE AND I ALMOST WON THE BLOODY THING. We came a very close and credible second, talk about the tortoise and the hare (Google it). And it was mainly down to PETE! Plus a bit of judicious cheating that only old people are good at, the sneaky bastards. Well done Pete. Talk about an object lesson for me. Ever since I try and team up with Pete!! Another excellent GASS LUNCH CLUB organised yet again by Owen. Top notch!

A real trio of activity meetings. Bugger off anyone who says GASS is getting boring (Graham). Multi sport at Diggerland and Burlesque, massive ZIPWIRE, and AXE throwing...... I mean that is really good, for £40 each! APRIL - DIGGERLAND for a multi-sports evening with electric quad bikes as the star of the show. Hugh laid on a proper challenge for the bike riders. Brand new electric quads which were as frisky as a young unbroken colt. Literally hair trigger reactions, the slightest squeeze on the accelerator meant a 0-60 spasm and a nasty skid as the brakes were hastily applied. Really took some getting used to. Then Skittles with 360 excavators. Then a treasure hunt in a the children's multi story play area. Then a full dinner. Then an amazing Burlesque show. I have to say it was amazing and brilliantly done Hugh. It just shows what you can buy with £40 when GASS members put their minds to it!! Sorry, couldn't find the pics of the super quads, so group photos will have to suffice. Just imagine the quads off to the left above. Clouds of dust, great big skids, amazing machines, really big...... Too many group shots I hear you say? Sorry. Enjoy the one of the excavators. And enjoy even more the eventual winners. Well deserved I say. The assembled competitors replete after an amazing dinner. MAY - Off to HALLING LAKES for a massive ZIP WIRE and a Pizza supper afterwards. Superbly organised by Ian. A really interesting venue at the lakes on probably the only cold and windy day all summer. But we persevered. Biggest zip wire in England apparently. GASS are zip wire experts having done the one at Bluewater, the pop up one in London, plus others to numerous to mention. This was a long one and a cold one. But great fun, especially for Andy who still has not conquered his deep fear of heights and flimsy metal grid floors that show you only too plainly where you might end up if you trip. Four at a time, off we all went, well not Andy obs. He was trembling at the bottom of the stairs, not fear, just freezing cold in May. I didn't get any pics of the pizzas, you know what a man eating a pizza and drinking a beer form a can looks like. If not then you have no imagination! JUNE - AXE THROWING, ARCHERY & RIFLE SHOOTING Another test of our killer abilities with archery, pistol shooting and axe throwing. All included at a very down home sort of range in the Dartford area. On arrival it looked a bit like the sort of place where the locals just bought their own guns, axes and bows along from the house for a bit of one on one mayhem. We were more circumspect and settled for throwing the axes at targets, the arrows at the the big straw things and the guns at paper squares and tin cans. Yes, a bit gay, but we are not actually from Dartford or Gravesend so we are not as adept as them at dodging the incoming. As you can see from the video below some of are also shit at the outgoing.................... To be honest we were pretty shit at a lot of it, so we buggered off down the pub, but first we gave it a go..... Thanks to Keith and Andy for the battle skills, thanks to Ian for the zip wiring, thanks to Hugh and John for the Diggerland event and the Burlesque. All great and imaginative meetings. Lets keep them coming guys!

Pub Dinner instead of heat stressed eagles, a very expensive GASS Lunch Club meet at The LUCKY CAT, and a very enjoyable CHAIN SAW SCULPTING meeting at Chris's where a massive prick was born. JULY - DINNER AT THE WINDMILL PUB: After stormy weather stopped us petting Owls and Eagles. This was Tony's Entertainment evening and he had a great programme for us to pet birds of prey at a wildlife centre. Sadly the extreme heat put the kibosh, apparently the birds don't do sunbathing. So Tony quickly and efficiently pivoted to a nice dinner at The Windmill in Hollingbourne. LATE JULY - GASS LUNCH CLUB - At THE LUCKY CAT The lunch club went upmarket for the end of JULY meeting. Owen picked The LUCKY CAT at 22 Bishopsgate, one of London's tallest buildings. In one of London's most expensive restaurants. Before that a touch of clay pigeon shooting in a nearby video gallery, outright winner was the organiser, Mr Brunning. Once the gunfire subsided it was on to the table, and on to one of the most expensive lunches for quite some time. The total bill was north of £2,000, and the best was on particular member who so enjoyed Waygu steak that he scoffed £390 worth of it washed down with £290 worth of sparkling wine, and a £13 chocolate truffle instead of a 'waffer thin mint'. All for the princely sum of £750.95 inclusive of a cheeky 15% service charge. That is what I call lunch!!!! AUGUST - CHAIN SAW SCULPTING AT CHRIS'S A meeting at Chris's for CHAIN SAW SCULPTING and a catered BBQ. Organisers Chris & Brian, but mainly Chris doing all the heavy lifting. Brilliant sunshine, tables in the garden, a professional chef providing a lovely dinner. Lashings of booze, even a bottle of sherry for Hugh. Plus our chain saw expert who kicked off by handing a saw to a bunch of drunks to chop up a log into the thinnest possible roundel, winner Chris, second Brian. Then it was on to the main item. The sculpting of a massive prick. The photos do indeed do it justice the monster..................... Its looking good, looking big ................... Now that is a bunch of cock sculpters if ever I saw one! Some of Hugh's birthday present ideas for Chris .......... At the dinner that night the massive prick was raffled. It was one of those daft raffles where there were two people after the sculpture, so the price just kept going up and up. £61 flipping quid Brian paid just for a joke birthday present for 'Mick the Greek'. As you can see below Mike was pleasantly surprised. He said it was the nicest massive prick he has ever been given in all his 74 years. He then promptly hid the thing from sight in his deepest shed, probably never to see the light of day again, and who can blame him? No accounting for taste, no appreciate of real art, bloody Greek philistine!

These minutes will be brief, mainly as the person writing them was not there to enjoy the trip. The CEO, Brian Henslow, missed his first AGM ever. Pathetic excuse, his daughter was getting married and would have taken it askance if he sent a stand in to walk her down the aisle! So the minutes will be restricted to a couple of pics and a set of truncated accounts. Accounts first. ACCOUNTS 2024/25: Ron decided not to send me a list of the individual meeting costs but did comment that NICK'S 'take away grub' meeting contributed the most to a modest surplus. We started the year with £5,608 and ended it with £5,889, not bad considering we budgeted an extra £1,100 on meeting spend. If further proof that the new meetings system really does work then look no further. AND we had a whole load of excellent meetings in the year. I have actually listed them in the OCTOBER minutes for your enjoyment. And so on to what I think happened in Puerto Banus....................... Everyone made the plane and got safely to Spain ......... No wait. Not everyone made it. Ron was a late drop out. Reason: Ron thought it perfectly normal that when in Verona (as in Gentlemen of said Italian town, Shakespeare) you put everything valuable in a backpack - phone, passport, money, credit cards. And when you fancy a gelato you drop said backpack on a chair and queue up for said iced lolly. Thus rather predictably losing all your lolly to a passing toerag! No passport, no travel senor!. So Ron was a much missed no show. Everyone else made it. And enjoyed a succession of lunches, dinners, golf and sunbathing. Plus a bit of kip on the side. Of course, not all the time was spent sleeping, eventually Hugh woke up as a reinvented trendy version of his former self. Not a scrap of Diggerland branded clothing to be seen in the new ensemble. That's a first! Looking good!! Still wearing the trendy gear at one of the long lunches between rounds of golf. And another lunch at another trendy location, this time a beach club. Of course the observant among you will have spotted the deliberate mistake?? And I don't mean Pete still wearing the same shirt! .................... Answer below. So another excellent AGM, this year organised by Owen, and only poor Brian was missing from the normal crew. Well - and Ron, obviously. ANSWER: For the hawk eyed among you, not only is Pete wearing what must be his go to holiday shirt, but Brian and Ron are magically sitting together at the AGM table. How was this miracle achieved? By mistakenly including a picture from the AGM when we last went to PB, that's how. We are looking forward to next year.

A pub meeting organised by Gary, who has got the logic of a pub meeting down to a fine art. Hold it just down the road from his house. Again. Great evening! Not the best photo ever, but it sets the scene. 16 of the remaining 19 sat down to an enjoyable dinner that came in under the £900 budget by a healthy £120. Mainly because so many members are now not chucking high value wines down their necks with gay abandon. Yes, 16 of the REMAINING 19 members. Not 22 members, just 19 now. Since we lost Slasher soon after the last AGM for a crime not unadjacent to his new GASS nickname, we next lost The Doctor (who to be fair has been in and out of GASS on a regular basis for the past 30 years), then we lost Keith who basically can't afford membership any longer (despite paying two years subs for a Waygu steak and chips and a glass of sparkling wine only a short while back. So here is a quick resume of the matters discussed, or to more faithfully reflect what actually happened, here is a quick resume of what CEO Henslow short-cutted all the normal protocols of GASS meetings to ram through without even the courtesy of a show of hands. DO WE WANT NEW MEMBERS?: We now have 19 members. Its 11 years or more since the last new member, Owen, joined our illustrious ranks. As the years have passed and we have all got older and way more eccentric, it is probable that we will no longer be attractive to new members. What chance would they stand of appreciating the motley crew that we now represent so the decision was taken that we would not make any concerted effort to recruit new members . But if someone suitable did appear then they should come to THREE meetings before being proposed. Ideally anyone proposed needs to own their own business or be self employed, or at least pretty senior. SHOULD WE INCREASE THE FEES?: As membership has dropped so has income. By £1440 a year. At the same time we increased meeting budgets by £1100. So logically we need to address the £2500 annual shortfall. Raising fees to £50 covers that in one fell swoop. But as the cash available at the end of the 2024/25 financial year actually increased slightly then we would leave things as they are and review the fees at the next AGM. BUY YOUR OWN BOTTLE OF WINE: With regard to drinks at the meetings. It was pointed out that a rule that insisted no BOTTLES of wine could go on the bill did not stop someone drinking 10 GLASSES of wine instead. This somewhat juvenile argument was defeated by the fact that at this meeting 5 members where not drinking alcohol, and of the remaining 11, most were happy with beer, and in any case 10 medium glasses of wine was equal to two and a half bottles. Really??? The simple fact is that we HAD to stop some members ordering wines at £50-£60 a pop. Not only did it blow the budget it took the piss of those members not drinking and led to understandable tensions. The rule is simple. If you want to drink wine - then any wine the pub normally sells by the glass is fine. If you want better wine then just buy a bottle and pay for it. It really is not that difficult. LAST YEAR WAS A GOOD MEETINGS YEAR, WELL DONE ORGANISERS: Bearing in mind we are just a group of mates, getting a bit old, and we only go out Tuesday evenings, I for one are pretty impressed with the programme from last year. In fact ignore what I said about new members, I'd join GASS for the fun and the meetings despite it being full of loons. Starting in December last year, this is what we did. All for £40 a month......... CHRISTMAS DINNER AT HUGHS PUB DINNER AT THE ROYAL CROWN BATTLE KARTS TAKE AWAY DINNER DIGGERLAND RACES THE CUBE AND LUNCHCLUB IN DOCKLANDS ZIPWIRE AXE THROWING, ARCHERY AND RIFLE SHOOTING DINNER AT THE WINDMILL, WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EAGLES. LUCKY CAT LUNCHCLUB CHAIN SAW SCULPTURES AGM IN PUERTO BANUS MEETINGS THIS YEAR: The format is the same as last year. 4 PUB meetings at £900, 4 ENTERTAINMENT meetings at £1100, 3 AWAYDAYS at £1300. Surcharges allowed to suit the size and scope of the meeting. Organisers, don't be embarrassed about adding a surcharge, we'd all prefer to pay more for quality. NOV - NICK/WAYNE - ENTERTAINMENT. Olivers Rochester DEC - TONY/STUART - AWAYDAY - Xmas at The Ivy Canterbury. Christmas Jackets and Secret Santa. JAN - IAN/JOHN - PUB FEB - CHRIS/RAY - ENTERTAINMENT MAR - GRAHAM/RON - AWAYDAY APR - SOMEBODY - PUB MAY - STEVE/ANDY - ENTERTAINMENT JUN - BRIAN - AWAYDAY JUL - OWEN/HUGH - ENTETAINMENT AUG - BRIAN/LEN - PUB SEP - AGM - Montenegro, Riga, Lanzarote, Monaco, Lisbon, Berlin, Albania? AGM OFFICER ELECTION: As in the previous two years a sigh of relief was sighed when OWEN agreed to another year as CHAIRMAN. His ability to cross the generations, ignore bullshit, calm Graham, organise top quality GASS lunch club events, and generally keep a lid on things is invaluable. RON very kindly agreed to keep cooking the books. Ron's ability to add up is invaluable. Most other Ron-related attributes are pretty shit. Timekeeping, organisation, ability to hold onto a passport, use of a GPS, and many more. But as GASS Chief Financial Officer he is indubitably top dog! BRIAN agreed in absentia to remain as CEO. Less siad about his abilities the better. So on that note the meeting ended, below budget, and a good time had by all.

Because WhatsApp has taken over as the medium for communications with GASS, the website has fallen behind a little. BUT, it is still important for historical reasons, nothing beats being able to go back years and see what we were all up to and what we all looked like back in the day! So here I am trying to catch up a little. OCTOBER - Wayne, as organiser, did the sensible thing and held his meeting just up the road from his house, at THE BOWL PUB. Nice venue, a bit like a massive school canteen with a small country pub attached. We sat in the canteen and enjoyed a nice dinner. PUB meetings are in the majority in the winter so expect a few coming up. NOVEMBER - Gary did the same and held his meeting down the road from his house too. THE ROSE & CROWN was this months dinner and piss up. GASS LUNCH CLUB - Still going strong for the lunchers. Owen organised a private room at THE IVY in Canterbury for this one. Great day with a CHRISTMAS theme. DECEMBER - CHRISTMAS EXTRAVAGANZA. Black Tie, excellent caterers, superb dinner. Hugh did us proud! At his home, in his house with the massive upstairs function room. And the entertainment was SECRET SANTA which, as always, went down a riot. Hell of a riotous evening! Well done Hugh!!!

Started with a catastrophe ended up as the cheapest and best GASS AGM ever (said Henslow Tours rep). I quote the rep “that even beat Pontins!” I should add he was drunk at the time. THE 42nd GASS AGM. A short reminder of what happened and what was decided as a record for posterity and to help us in our dotage recall what we did in 2024 CHEAPEST AGM EVER!  £565 for flight and shared room for four nights in a 4 star in Hvar.  Beat that lastminute, Henslow Tours rises from the ashes! Once you all get your (hopefully, BUT NOT YET CERTAIN) £350 compensation on top of your £176 refund your actual return flight will have cost just £92 ( maths:  BA £333 plus paid to Owen £285 = £618.  Less refund £176 plus compo £350 = £526. Flight cost return = £92. Ta da).   Flight plus shared room = £565. CHEAP However it wasn’t all smooth sailing……….. The AGM started badly.  A masterly understatement if ever there was one.  The Henslow Tours office opens early, at 04.15 on Friday morning to be precise.  Imagine the scene, your tour rep gets out of bed, bollock naked, and the first thing he sees is a text on his phone. - “BA842 cancelled, you are rebooked a mere 32 hours later at a time that makes accessing your hotel before midday Sunday impossible.  Have a nice day.  Yours, British Airways”. It was possibly the worst few hours of my life, and only later did I find I shared it with around 40,000 other people, so around 8,000 organisers like me, sitting naked, stunned, panicked (OK not all of them would have been naked) who suffered the same fate of cancelled flights that weekend.  The difference was I bet the other 40,000 did not have the support of people who could step into the breach (as I enjoyed a two hour mental breakdown) and of the tolerance of all the others in the group who did not moan once, just cracked on and fitted in at short notice with the changed plans. It bears repeating that I knew we were screwed by text from BA at 04.15. Checked it was not a scam.  Had meltdown. By 04.40 I’d called Hugh to cancel cars and make a plan. Next called our Chairman Owen. Plans made and amended. Extra passport info obtained. 19 passenger API’s to type by hand, average 50 letters and numbers per person, times 19, almost a 1000 characters to type, get one wrong, you don’t fly.  Hugh’s message, just 2 hours after being told of the catastrophe, gave everyone 10 minutes to agree to an unspecified plan at an unspecified price.  To everyone’s immense credit everyone did just that. Two different flights, two different departure airports, two different arrival airports, one was 150 miles from the hotel, eight cars to organise, two speedboats to organise, one hotel to organise to keep rooms past last check in.  Refunds to organise, compensation to organise, getting dressed to organise, calming down to organise.  And we cracked it.  Massive thanks you to Owen (flights and API and paying £4800 of his own cash out) and Hugh ( planning options, cars and talking me down off the ceiling), and to all the members for not moaning, querying or getting in the way, but just doing what you were asked.  Fantastic.  We all made it in one piece and only a few hours late.  Hope the other 40,000 cancelled by BA alone were as lucky. Interestingly, if we had been with a travel agent I don’t think we’d have done so well.  Our flexibility, capability and ability to react and have a workable plan by 06.00 was what got us there only a few hours late.  Agents open at 09.00. I’m always going to treasure Hugh’s message at 06.30 saying “I’m pressing the button at 06.40, if you’re not coming message me quickly, otherwise you are GOING”. All he got was silence, possibly no one got the message. Anyway - you all came and thank you! So, drama resolved, on with the minutes………. Great hotel, massive pool, excellent food and service.  Into Hvar town, lovely place, lovely people, very smart and upmarket, very friendly.  Not cheap, but not crazy. 10% off for cash in every restaurant, great weather (Monday excluded).  Free day Saturday was taken up with food, booze and banter and the Grand GASS Cap Auction. Sailing Sunday was a success, nobody drowned, great lunch.  Monday was slated for the AGM in a nice beach bar restaurant in private (to avoid upsetting couples and families who seem to have an issue with listening to drunks shouting at each other over arcane points of order).  Tuesday chilling by the lovely hotel pool and topping up the tan before the boat home and a flight that actually took off! THE AGM AGENDA To keep things simple an agenda had been circulated beforehand.  Apologies for absence, The Accounts, The Officers, The Meetings, Meeting Budgets, Any Other Business. THE ACCOUNTS:  All is well.  The new meetings system meant we came in on budget. EVERYONE HAS PAID THEIR SUBS (a first?).  We had a surplus of £278 and a carried forward cash balance of £5,608. OFFICERS:  Owen agreed to carry The Chairmanship into his second year (thank goodness), Ron agreed to keep fiddling the accounts (thank goodness).  Brian agreed to remain as CEO and Obergruppenfuher (maybe a mixed blessing) and so all is well at the top.  An experienced team lead GASS into its 43rd year. THE MEETINGS:  The new system clearly worked better than the old system.  So on with the new system.  We re-dealt the cards to allocate new teams of two to each month.  This is how it came out MEETINGS 2024/5 OCT. PUB. WAYNE. STEVE. £900 NOV. PUB. GARY. PETE. £900 DEC. AWAYDAY. OWEN. PHILC. £1300 JAN. PUB. RON. RAY.  £900 FEB. ENTERTAINMENT. GRAHAM. STUART. £1100 MAR. PUB. NICK. OLLIE £900 APR. AWAYDAY. HUGH. JOHN. £1300 MAY. ENTERTAINMENT. IAN. PHILR. £1100 JUN. ENTERTAINMENT. ANDY. KEITH. £1100 JUL. AWAYDAY. TONY LEN. £1300 AUG. ENTERTAINMENT. BRIAN. CHRIS. £1100. Swopsies allowed. Just let me know if anything changes team or meeting wise.  In November I will publish any updates.  It’s flexible so don’t worry about changes, just keep me in the loop. MEETING BUDGETS: Ron suggested we reduce the £5,600 cash we hold by about £1,100 a year over 5 years and worry about the outcome in 2030 (those that are still here and still have the ability to worry). That means an extra hundred quid on every meeting, hence the higher budgets shown  above (missed that did you?). THE GASS ‘NO WINE’ RULE:  Not to be confused with the ‘no whining’ rule.  That was the rule introduced in March 2023 after some serious whining and arguing over the bill and all to do with flipping wine at the table.  That rule worked really well until June 2023 when our Chairman wanted a bottle of Premier Cru Chablis but couldn’t be arsed to pay for it himself, so back we went to whining.  The issue is that house wine might be £25 a bottle, but if you insist on top end wines they might be £65 a bottle, the difference is equal to the  £40 we all pay per month!  That however is not actually the issue for around 30-40% of our members WHO EITHER DON’T FUCKING DRINK OR ONLY HAVE A COUPLE.  The issue is why on earth should they (1) Have to pay out of funds or surcharges quite so much (and yes, I get the thing about don’t be a girlies about the bill, but only if you get the thing about don’t kick the arse out of it). (2) Have to listen to the repeated moans and bad feeling when it happens, or worse, have to just fume about the overspends being carried out by just the other 30-40% of the members.  For clarity I count myself in the honest, fair, upstanding and remaining 20% who do drink but don’t kick the aforesaid arse out of it.  Obviously. The beauty of the NO WINE rule was that it (1) takes an enormous amount of strain off the budgets and (2) meant that you can all have the wine you want, or no wine.  AS LONG AS YOU PAY FOR IT YOURSELF.  Easy-peasy From now on Meetings organisers can make full use of the rule if they wish as it leaves so much more budget for entertainment and food, or avoids surcharges. If an organiser uses that rule just make it clear to the venue that you won’t be liable for ANY wine on the final bill and everyone that wants wine, fine or cheap, pays for their own bottle to share or drink alone. ANY OTHER BUSINESS:  To summarise the most important outcomes of the AGM: Len in NOT fatter than he is tall (his tum-wum is 80% of his height, 53v68 inches for those with a morbid and misplaced interest). Owen is still chairman, Owen is a shit High Court judge but the the trial outcomes were a triumph for friendship and common sense, and that one should never ever give our chairman a gavel, fucking lethal, especially to Ron’s phones. Oh, and we all have a nice GASS hat to wear.  Some have two, fuck knows why! SO. To recap for meetings organisers.  It’s simples.  Tell us WHERE (ideally the ACTUAL postcode of the meeting location, not a different museum or Grahams office).  Tell us WHEN, the start time.  Only tell us WHAT is going to happen if you want to.  Tell us HOW MUCH if there is a surcharge (if there is a surcharge and you don’t want to pay it - don’t come!  It’s not optional). Tell us if you are imposing RULES like the NO WINE rule, or any other rule, like Steak £10 extra, it’s your meeting, your rules. So WWWHR.  WHERE,WHEN,WHAT,HOW MUCH, RULES.  I so wish I could have come up with a snappier anagram. All suggestions welcome. ‘World Wide Web Human Resources’ is how I remember it. It helps me enormously. THE GASS COURT DEBACLE The meeting having closed we moved on to THE GASS COURT:  Something that we did last year in Barcelona (the 11 of us who made it- B11!!!) with great success and many laughs.  It was intended to be the entertainment for the meeting. Bought back by general acclaim by the eleven AGM attendees from last year because it was really funny, but with added wigs and wooden gavel for the judge.  Judge Brunning KC presiding.   THE RESULTS OF THE CASES:  Henslow v Else, settled out of court.  Smith v Slasher, hung jury, case dismissed.  Other cases:  Adjourned due to lack of court time and disturbances in the courtroom.  Final result, all parties happy and hatchets buried, friendships renewed. Not quite all parties were happy.  The court was not so well received by those who missed last years AGM, who maybe misconstrued the purpose and so failed to get the joke or simply roll with it. Instead, some members ended up getting very wound up and hot under the collar days before anything actually happened, all to no effect. As it turned out the court succeeded in its aims and was really funny for those that got the joke, not so much from the others who sadly suffered a pre-planned sense of humour failure. GASS is often about piss taking when pissed, and piss taking is not normally a reason to storm out of the room. We all have views, often different views, and we accommodate them.  I get that the court idea was not everyone’s idea of fun but the important thing is it was the majorities idea of fun (and it achieved its aims), so maybe just roll with it sometimes guys, maybe even enter into stuff for fun.  Not everything we do is everyone’s choice, we are a big group of mixed ages, egos and approaches. The comment I always love most is “This isn’t GASS as I knew it!”  Yes it is, it’s always been like it. It's not always confrontational, but it often is, that’s part of the fun of GASS.  We are a varied and tough bunch. Piss taking is ingrained.  It’s GASS. Just like always.  Good God, even angry storming out of AGM’s has been going on for years, so much so it is almost a GASS tradition.  Sometimes we even have punch-ups.  2024 was mild by comparison.   The court cases were a 10 minute harmless laugh, nothing more, and they succeeded in their aims.  GASS is not some sort of modern ‘safe space’.  Far fucking from it!  Grow a pair. Get stuck in. Have a laugh at someone else’s expense. See what I did there? Maybe next time we will have some local traditional musicians playing for us (no, that caused a walk out), maybe we should ask for bread rolls to be supplied (no that caused a walk out), maybe we could just enjoy a beer at a bar (no that caused a fight), maybe...... Maybe we could just sit quietly and discuss politics, or dwarfs, or rimming (eeugh!), or Nocturia (look it up)...... So in conclusion, another great AGM. The venue was excellent, lots of great restaurants, not to expensive bearing in mind the surroundings, and IF the worlds favourite airline do decide to pay up the promised refund (£179pp already credited to the 16 group flyers) and the £350pp compensation, fingers crossed, then it will be the cheapest AGM ever. If not then its back to court, this time GASS v B.A. Only time will tell. REMINDER: The editor of this website feels under NO obligation to tell the truth, be fair and unbiased, or to be objective. The views expressed here are subjective, totally biased, only partly true and to a large extend imagined. No references made to persons living or dead are meant to reflect on any GASS member or to be taken literally. All complaints should be addressed to The Editor, GASS Website, 23 Gnome Towers, Zurich, Switzerland EO987.

To save members wandering around in a daze all weekend, not sure what's happening, when to be down in the lobby, what to wear, worrying if GASS has any money, fretting about fees - HERE IS THE ANSWER............... FIRST THINGS FIRST THE GRAND GASS CAPS AUCTION. Meet in the hotel lobby one hour after we check in for the first ever GASS CAPS AUCTION. On sale are 22 top quality original Beechfield caps with the new 2024 GASS logo. Follow the instructions on the form below and put the colour you yearn for most on the GASS AGM Whatsapp group. The most popular colour goes up for auction first. Reserve £10, bids in £5 lumps (£/E the same). Anything raised over the costs of £200 goes straight to the GASS kitty. 22 different colours, so one for every member. Ray, Stuart and Chris get the leftovers. GET BIDDING FOR THE COLOUR THAT BEST SUITS YOU!!! DAILY PROGRAMME ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING VENUE AND DAY :  It remains to be decided WHERE we hold the AGM in Hvar.  Members are requested to search for a likely location that seats 19 for lunch or dinner.  The options of WHEN are probably either SUNDAY or MONDAY EVENING or TUESDAY LUNCHTIME.  This is because Saturday would be too soon, Sunday we are sailing (although Sunday night is a possibility), Monday day we are probably occupied so lunch may not be available .   DISCUSSION REQUIRED FRIDAY Check in the down the bar for the GASS CAP AUCTION. Into town to check out HVAR, probably in groups as 19 is a BIG group, be on the lookout for future lunch and dinner spots. SATURDAY Free day all day and evening. SUNDAY Meet at the dock at 10.15 dead. full days sailing, back at 18.30. Bring 80E cash per head. If you fail to show you still OWE 80E! Someone will pay on your behalf and you must pay them back. Bring some beers as none provided. ITINERARY: Depart at 10.30, sail east down the coast to Borce or Zarace beach for a swim stop. Sail west to Palmizana Beach for lunch at 2.30 at Bacchus. At around 4.30 sail east again to stop at Mlinin Beach (Mamato Bar) at then home by 18.30. Route subject to change. The evening is free (possible AGM dinner option). MONDAY Free day all day and evening. ELECTRIC BIKE RIDE ANYONE? The hills behind Hvar are lovely and there is a nice electric bike ride, steep up, long fast downhill back, about 25k, stop for lunch halfway, great on powered bikes if anyone fancies it. Check it out there. MONDAY evening is another AGM dinner option. TUESDAY: Check out by 11.00. Leave luggage at hotel. Off for lunch. Possible AGM lunch? The transfer to the airport is from the hotel dock at 16.00 sharp. ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING – 2024 – HVAR   DRAFT AGENDA - Feel free to add stuff at the meeting!   APOLOGIES FOR ABSENCE:   The turnout of 19 for this year is excellent, only Chris, Ray and Stuart not able to make it.   ACCOUNTS:   Ron will no doubt give a full report on the year but in essence the situation is as follows:   SUBSCRIPTIONS:            22 collected of £480, total £10560 – everybody paid on time! MEETINGS:                         11 Meetings – 4@£800, 4@£1000, 3@£1200 – total £10,800                                                 Cost of meetings = £10,522  Surplus £278.  An actual surplus! Deduct some website costs and that meetings cost a bit more than fees                                                 Surplus brought forward from 2023 - £5787 SURPLUS carried forward £5608   So the new meetings method worked a treat!  Slight surplus and no budgetary issues.  Still got £5,608 in assets.  No pressure on the £40 fees.   OFFICERS:   Brian Henslow proposes Owen Brunning as Chairman  after such a successful year.  Owen brings to the role the right mixture of humour, discipline and piss taking.   Ron has indicated his agreement to continue in the role of Financial Director,  Brian has indicated his agreement to continue in his role as C.E.O.  DISCUSSION AND VOTE REQUIRED     MEETINGS:   The new method was on trial for a year and Brian Henslow proposes it be continued for another year .  It successfully spread the load, bought in some great meetings, stopped members taking the piss on costs and came in dead on budget.    DISCUSSION AND VOTE REQUIRED   To mix it up a bit I propose that we use B11 members as the main men again as they are also in the main the hard core members, but redraw the months and the meeting partners.  The months will be predetermined as to meeting type, rather than leave it to chance.  More Pub meetings in the winter, more Entertainment and Away in spring and summer.   The draw would be as follows: B11 MEMBERS EACH GET DEALT A MONTH BY THE CHAIRMAN.  Graham, Owen, Gary, Hugh, Brian, Nick, Tony, Ron, Wayne, Andy, Ian. B11 MEMBERS EACH GET DEALT A PARTNER BY THE CHAIRMAN.  Steve, John, Phil C, Ollie, Keith, Pete, Stuart, Ray, Phil R, Len, Chris.   MONTH                2023       MEETING                                             PROPOSED FOR 2024 OCT                        PUB       Babasheesh                                      PUB NOV                       PUB       Rose & Crown                                    PUB       DEC                        AWAY   Christmas at Pride                       AWAY JAN                        PUB       Tumeric                                                PUB FEB                        PUB       Park Gate                                            ENTERTAINMENT MAR                      ENT        Spain on boat                                    PUB APR                        AWAY   Spitfires                                               AWAY MAY                      ENT        Pedalos                                                ENTERTAINMENT JUN                        ENT        Learn DJ skills                                    ENTERTAINMENT JUL                         AWAY    War of the Worlds                         AWAY AUG                      ENT        Wine Tasting                                      ENTERTAINMENT   DISCUSSION AND VOTE REQUIRED   BUDGETS:   Ron has suggested that if we continue to run a ‘balanced budget meeting system’ as above, then the need for the £5,000 cash cushion diminishes.  Ron’s suggestion is that we increase the budget for all meetings by £100, drawing down an additional £1,100 a year from the £5600 carried forward.  At that rate we would have five years before we had to reconsider.           The new budgets would be PUB £900, ENTERTAINMENT £1,100, AWAYDAY £1,300.  DISCUSSION AND VOTE REQUIRED   MEETING IDEAS:   It might be helpful for members to throw into the ring any spare ideas they may have for meetings in 2024/25 to assist organisers.   ANY OTHER BUSINESS: ENJOY THE TRIP!!! And there you have it folks, all on your phones, all accessible. The marvels of modern science! Final reminder. Henslow Tours have done their best., but fate is a fickle mistress, and lots can go wrong on any tour. Please direct your complaints to the Croatian responsible, please direct only fulsome praise to your Henslow Tours rep, who I would remind you is called Brian.

What a day, not everyday ends in such a drama, such a laugh, as JB gets asked to leave, and we all get thrown out of a prestigious venue, on our ears. Never happened before or since. The day started with a meet on Trinity Square, near The Tower of London, for a few beers. Attendees were the GASS LUNCH CLUB crowd. First up was a RIB RIDE up the Thames, great big boat, hired exclusively for GASS with 12 on board. Lovely weather and a surprisingly fast run for 20 adrenaline packed minutes. This was followed by lunch in outdoor 'igloos' at Coppa Club overlooking Tower Bridge. The picture above is of the older boys table, average bill £40 a head, not the other younger boys table, average bill £140 a head due to the Chablis Premier Cru going down like water. Then it was a stroll though the City to JEFF WAYNE'S WAR OF THE WORLDS IMMERSIVE EXPERIENCE in the basement and cellars of some big block. Few drinks at the bar, split into two teams, the team below went first. Great fun, room after room of actors and special effects, 3D glasses, video, the works. Following the survivors of the fable Martian attack on London. Group one successfully completed the course and were in the bar celebrating our survival when the strangest thing happened....... Mr Brice, part of Group 2, was back in the bar, arguing with a staff member, pointy fingers, stern looks all round, mention of "Do you know who I am?", "How dare you speak to me like that!" and similar. Obviously we all crowded round to hear the news. Bricey was being ejected! For sexism and abuse of staff. Wow! Not the example expected of the Capo di Capo of 'Safer Medway'. As we understand it as a female staff member prepared to slide down the slide in one of the immersive rooms she warned everyone to stand clear by calling down "I'm coming". JB then riposted with the cry "She's orgasming!" He denies this and says he said something far tamer, but I am the editor so suck it up. The result was instant expulsion from the rooms, and as he argued the toss with her, expulsion from the actual premises! Oh, and we all videoed it, as one does these days, so we all got chucked out too, even though we had not finished our drinks. The expulsion explains why Group 2 did not get a group photo to display here, they were already rolling across the pavement outside when their group photo camera shutter clicked on an empty room. Over to the pub across the road for a round of piss taking and celebration. That is the first time all of GASS have been forcibly ejected from anywhere in 42 years. We have been asked not to return, but never ALL been ejected part-way through our beers. Well done John, never though you had it in you. An interesting and varied AWAYDAY, and came in under budget by £40.

The administrative details and a disclaimer from Henslow Tours Inc. Everything you need to know about the upcoming bonanza tour. Nineteen attendees on this 5 days, 4 night piss-up. Friday 6th to Tuesday 10th September. On the beautiful island of Hvar in the Adriatic Sea. Hvar town is the main town on this 42 mile long, 6 mile wide island, centered around a buzzing port with dozens of bars, restaurants and clubs. Our hotel is a 5 minute beach side promenade walk away from the port. FLIGHTS DEPART - FRIDAY 6th SEPTEMBER - BRITISH AIRWAYS - TERMINAL 5 BA842 TO SPLIT Departure time 09.45. Arrive Split 13.25 20kg checked baggage included. Plus a standard Cabin Bag CHECK IN TWO HOURS BEFORE FLIGHT = 07.45. RETURN - TUESDAY 10th SEPTEMBER - SPLIT BA843 TO HEATHROW T5 Departure time 19.25. Arrival Heathrow 21.05. CHECK IN TWO HOURS BEFORE FLIGHT = 17.25. SPLIT TO HVAR TRANSFER Collected by private minivan at the airport for a short 5 minute run to the nearby port and board two 10 person Summer Breeze 500HP cabin speedboats complete with beers and toilets for the 50 minute run to the jetty outside our hotel. HOTEL - AMFORA, HVAR GRAND BEACH RESORT www.suncanihvar.com BED & BREAKFAST Pay for your own room at the hotel - Singles 1,076E and Twins 1,120E (560E each) The rooms are held by my credit card so if you fail to turn up for ANY reason then YOU owe ME the full price of the room. You can cancel (through me) up to 4 days in advance at no charge, but after that no 'spurious' excuses, it's down to you. SINGLES - GRAHAM, OWEN, HUGH, IAN, GARY, KEITH, LEN. 7 PERS TWINS - BRIAN/STEVE, ANDY/PHIL R, TONY/JOHN, NICK/RON, PETE/PHIL C/ OLLIE/WAYNE. 12 PERS PROGRAMME FRIDAY - Arrive at Hotel at around 15.00. Out on the town. SATURDAY - Free day to explore the hotel and the town. SUNDAY - SAILING DAY 10.30 at the dock outside our hotel to meet two 35 foot yachts with skippers. Sail down the coast for swimming at Borce or Zarace beach, sail to Paklinski Island and pull in Palmizana beach for lunch at Bacchus restaurant, table for 19 booked for 2,00pm www.bacchus-palmizana.com , then sail off again to Mlini beach before sailing home for 18.30. You've all paid £30 deposit, you all owe 80E (£68) in cash on the day (which includes a tip for the skippers). We all voted in and it is now all booked, so if you fail to show on the day due to change of mind/hangover/overslept/death then please don't forget you still owe 80E - and no spurious excuses . The lunch is not included and is not cheap (being on a very nice upmarket island), so if you want to duck out of that then no problem, we can deal with that on the day. "Spurious Excuse" - Any excuse based on false reasoning, and therefore wrong. SUNDAY EVENING - In town in the evening MONDAY - Free day to enjoy, possibly a bit of cycling, maybe over to Carpe Diem in the evening. TUESDAY - Check out by 11.00 and leave luggage. AGM LUNCH somewhere in town at midday. Return to the hotel dock for collection by our speedboats at 16.00. Airport by 17.30 to check in for flight home. JOB DONE! HENSLOW TOURS DISCLAIMER AND POLICY ON STAFF SAFETY. Henslow Tours are proud of their long history of serving their many clients (basically GASS and Mrs Henslow, but that still comes to 23). Our long established family company are famous for organising trips around the globe, often at the last minute, often slightly more dangerous or arduous than maybe the clients expected. Sometimes the standards are high, sometimes not so high (Pontins being a case in point we agree), but always on the money. As proof, this 4 night stay comes out at £812pp (sharing) as opposed to £844pp for last years stay in Barcelona, but is twice as far away to fly. The hotel is (hopefully) at least a star level up and really well located (a 5 minute walk to town as opposed to a 25 minute train ride). Havr itself is top notch and should be ideal for everyone. But to achieve this level of holiday at this bargain price, corners need to be cut, commissions shaved, rules broken and risks taken. Tonys Tours and Evans Expeditions (two competing companies who have previously served GASS well) simply phone a travel agent and say "book it Dano", or words to that effect. Henslow Tours don't. Henslow Tours book everything direct. Flights direct with BA Group Bookings, the hotel direct with the hotel, the transfers and yachts direct with the boat company. None of your silly ABTA bonding, no agent at the end of a phone to help if things got wrong - none of that shilly shallying bullshit. AND they send a dedicated 'Holiday Rep' with each tour group, a real bonus for our clients!. CUSTOMER RELATIONS Our clients matter to us, a bit, but not a lot. Despite the fact that we send a dedicated holiday rep with each group, basically we operate a take-it-or-leave-it policy on the outcome of the trip. Please note the following conditions of traveling with Henslow Tours:- Our carrier is British Airways: If there is an issue with the flight, any issue, literally anything - fucking take it up with British Airways! Rant at the airport staff, bollock the stewardess, insult the pilot, your choice. Just don't bother your tour representative. The transfer boats are hired from Segorent in Hvar, each boat has a skipper: If there is an issue with the boats, any issue, fucking have a go at the skipper! Not your tour representative who may be drunk. The hotel has a reception desk: If you don't like the room, the food, the pool service: Fucking insult the receptionist, don't come bleating to the Henslow Tours representative, as he frankly doesn't give a shit. The yachts for are locally hired, if you don't like the colour, size, shape, length, width, speed, choice of harbours, restaurant, the weather, etc: Chuck the skipper overboard, but don't under any circumstances bother to relate your whinge to your Henslow Tours representative. PROTECTION OF OUR STAFF FROM ABUSE Henslow Tours operate a strict policy of protecting our Holiday Reps from abuse. This follows a particularly difficult group who were taken on an excellent tour to Pontins in Lowestoft in 2021, at the height of the pandemic. Since that event we have substantially toughened up our staff protection policy. YOUR HOLIDAY REPRESENTATIVE on your trip is Mr Brian Henslow . A senior member of our tour company, Brian has a wealth of experience encompassing both great successes and total fuck ups, so we never know what to expect. In any event the important things to remember are:- It is unusual for the tour agent/organiser to actually be on the tour with you. Normally they are at a nice comfy desk in their travel agency, counting the money and generally not giving a shit. If it goes wrong our competitors just shrug their shoulders and blame the Travel Agent. Henslow Tours send a dedicated representative with each tour. So our Holiday Rep is within easy reach of your irrelevant opinions of how things are going, or not going, as the case may be, 24 flipping hours a day. Just remember the most important factor - he doesn't give a shit either! SO IF IT FUCKS UP - TELL B.A, SEGORENT, THE AMFORA - Not Mr Henslow who, having done all this work, DOES NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCK. He will however, appreciate being heaped with praise at every juncture should things GO WELL!, or frankly even if they are just passably OK. One way of showing your thanks as clients is to ply him with strong liquor. Just some useful rules for how to get the best from your Henslow Tours Holiday Representative. So remember. Don't complain to him, don't tell him your woes, and if it GOES WELL, give him unrestricted praise and ply him with drink. A tip won't hurt either.

Organised by Hugh, with able assistance from Stuart (who enjoyed the organising so much he didn't go). "Bring your passports" was all we knew in advance. I say 'we knew' but as I (the editor) was climbing Huayna Picchu at the time (did I tell you it is the worlds fifth most dangerous trek?), I don't actually have a clue what went on other than what Hugh told me. Hugh said it was 'outstanding', 'amazing', excellently organised' and a 'real drain on his wallet!'. And who am I to disagree? It certainly looked good in the various videos of the event, plus the group photos show people looking distinctly merry so it must be true. Nineteen crew members, out of 22 GASS members. Not a bad bit of press-ganging Hugh! Only missing were Stuart, Gary (broken something), and me (did I tell you I was climbing Huayna.......) On a fixed budget of £1,000 Hugh flew everyone out to Portugal, provided Blue Moon plus drinks, plus lunch, plus, plus, plus. Great job Hugh.