APRIL MEETING

GASS TROPHIES - PUB MEETING - Courtesy of Phil at the good old Rose & Crown in Hartlip. Its like a second home to GASS.

BACK ROW - GOLF TROPHY, SHOOTING TROPHY, BIG COCK, SILLY SAUSAGE, MANNEQIN PIS.

FRONT ROW - JCB RACING TROPHY, YARD OF ALE COMPETITION

MISSING IN ACTION - THROW UP GOLF, ARM WRESTLING, GASS COFFIN, BREAD BOWL

COVERING THE BIG COCK - THE CHAIRMANS NECKLACE

It was lovely to see the trophies on display and get a memorial picture of (almost) all of them in one place at one time. The interesting points bought up at the meeting were as follows:-

• The Yard of Ale trophy was made by Steve, in Woolwich Arsenal workshops entirely at the cost to the taxpayer. Hand blown miniature yard of ale, solid mahogany base, rough cost? About £500 even back then in 1984!

• The JGB trophy - the same, but the model JCB certainly cost less than a hand blow glass item.

• The Cock, from Chris's chanisaw meeting is impressive to say the least.

• The Manneqin Pis was not awarded at the last AGM as Brian has been coveting it for the past three years, and so it was awarded to Tony for appalling driving of a golf buggy. Wow! Big stuff. Eeven Tony felt that was a bit tame.

• The Throw-up Golf trophy. Allegations were made against an absent member who was accused of garnishing (legal term for seizing, or as we say, nicking) the trophy for showing off in his billard room. Will all members with a Billiard room please stand up. Nick.

• The Chairman's Bread Roll Bowl is also missing. The bowl being famous for being the cause of Ex-Chairman Brice's legal action to prove bread roll throwing was a terrible and a non-GASS behaviour being thrown out of court. Imagine the fuss when an actual Chairmans Bread Roll Bowl, given to the chair to hold his soft doughy ammunition was produced to the jury!!! Brice lost the case and faced costs. The cost was contimually being reminded as to how bad his selective memory has become. Maybe John has it.

• The Silly Sausage Award was (I think) awarded to Hugh for one of his solar panels that came adrift and smashed four very expensive cars, silly sausage!

BY THE WONDERS OF FAKE NEWS, BRIAN BOTH MANAGED TO TAKE THIS PHOTO, AND BE IN IT.

THE BEST GASS TROPHY - AWARDED FOR BEING THE BIGGEST PRAT ON AN AGM

The famous Mannequin Pis, he deserves something better than badly driving a Golf Cart in 2026 in Albanian. Come on guys! Be bigger prats this year.

Well done Phil, meeting under budget, again. See Andy, I told you £40 was fine as a monthly fee, it was fine in 1995 and it is fine now. If only I was Chancellor of the Exchequer, none of the UK's current dramas would have happend. Nobody listens to me! Probably nobody even reads this rubbish. I am wasted on you lot!