A second winter pub meeting. Organised by Wayne and Len. A great way to spend a winters Tuesday night with beers, friends and some grub. Sadly, as the editor was away in South America there were (a) no photographs, (b) no minutes, records, anecdotes, and (c) no gossip to record - so this is about the sum of the record of what occurred that night........................... Other than to congratulate Wayne, who stuck with the plan of keeping your meetings near where the organisers live, especially pub meetings. It helps spread the meetings fairly relates to the geography of where all GASS members live. Obviously Len lives nowhere near Leeds Castle, but then he took no meaningful part in the organisation, so bollocks to him!

Another Docklands visit and a totally new concept. Learning to fade out. Something moving up the agenda for several GASS members in the coming years. Have I misunderstood 'fade out'? Organised by Ian, seen above giving it large at the decks, this was a totally new concept for GASS. Quite an achievement after 42 years, finding something new that is, something never before attempted. Alright, not dangerous unless you lick the electrical sockets, but NEW. So kudos to Ian for that alone. GASS members, many of who need a new career, the lazy retired bastards, were fascinated. Just look at the wonder in John and Ollie's faces. To learn a new skill was a revelation at this time of life. To learn how to fade one tune out whilst fading another tune in was amazing. I call them tunes in an old fashioned way you realise, I know they aren't called that now (although what the hell they are called in the modern indium escapes me). It was pointed out that in our day a DJ's didn't fade anything in or even out, they just yelled "great platter from the Hollies, next comes a banger from the Beatles", and wacked on another record with a hissing scratching sound as the needle hit the deck of the Dancette. But time moves on and so we now know how to fade. I've been doing it none stop since the lesson, with two Dancette's and a set of cans. Actual cans, with string. After our skills course we set off up the hill to a lock-in at The KGV for beers and a lovely supper. I say lock-in, not strictly true as everyone left by 9.30, a bit of a new GASS tradition, sadly. Well done Ian, a new skill, a great meeting, and once again - all on budget! Much praise to the new meeting system.

This meeting was organised by Pete and Tony. PUB MEETING - INDIAN RESTAURANT IN KINGSHILL  -  Tumeric Square ORGANISED BY TONY AND PETE Budget £800 - Spent £800 As mentioned in the lead up, this was a meeting organised by two people who bascially live in Bearsted, but who for reasons that are not clear (after several hints at previous meetings that ideally pub meetings should be near where the organisers live), choose to have their meeting a very long way out, on the outer limits of the GASS orbit, in Kingshill.  Almost an Awayday. ​ The given reason was that Tumeric Square is a good restaurant.  Really?  No good ones in Bearsted?  The White Horse, The Black Horse, The Cock Horse, the Running Horse, The Flogging a Dead Horse??   No matter, almost everybody drove a gazillion miles and turned up to what was a successful and enjoyable evening with admittedly excellent grub.  I would repeat that it is a good idea and helps with the fair geographical distribution of meetings if members do try and keep their PUB meetings local to where they live.  And do try an occasional buffet so we can mingle more. ​ The food was excellent.  The meeting was on budget,  But there were a couple of issues. ​ The issues were all dealt with extensively on WhatsApp so I won't bother with the details.  Suffice to say that it revolved round non-payment of the surcharge of a tenner (yes, I know, just a tenner, but it was a matter of principal apparently) due to the house wine being snubbed by a member in favour of a more expensive wine, no problem you may say, surely the member ordering said more expensive wine paid for it, but sadly no. ​ This in turn led to a CHANGE IN THE WRITTEN CONSTITUTION!   Never been done before, just like The House of Commons overruling years of precedent to get Labour off the Gaza Hook!! ​ The Gentleman's Ale Sampling Society is being renamed!   GASS becomes GAASSS(NW).  THE GENTLEMAN'S ALE AND SPIRITS SAMPLING SOCIETY (NO WINE).   ​ GAASSS(NW) will from now on only allow beers, single spirits and soft drinks to be put on the GAASSS(NW) tab at meetings.  WINES at the table will forthwith be ordered and paid for by members.  NO WINE to be ordered on the tab, same for doubles, liquers, sherry and all manner of foreign or exotic drinks.  Any drinks other than beers, single spirits and soft drinks MUST be paid for separately by the person ordering. ​ THIS WILL SOLVE THE VARIOUS ARGUMENTS, ANNOYANCES, AND BUDGET OVERRUNS AT A STROKE!!!!!  Well done the Chairman for pushing this amendment though in record time. ​ Problem solved, until next time!! A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE ​ As an example of the problem this photo, suitably and subtly altered on the advice of our legal department to conceal the identity of the miscreant, shows as evidence a bottle of TAYLORS 2013 SHERRY, ordered at a recent event. ​ When other table members inquired as to its presence at the table they were reassured with the phrase "It costs about the same as a bottle of wine, so it doesn't matter". ​ Suffice to say it did not cost anything like a bottle of wine at £45.  It cost £118 to be precise.  The part drunk bottle was taken home by the member to drink on the train. ​ To be fair to the miscreant he did not flinch when asked to contribute an extra £50 to the table bill, but the new GAASSS(NW) rule should, and hopefully, will put an end to this.   Only CHEESE to deal with now.

A well organised, well attended, well lubricated meeting in Nick's old haunt. A wine bar that takes up part of his office. COOL! Six wines to investigate. And a myriad of possible answers, giving us at best a 1 in 10 chance of a right answer. As most of us would struggle to tell the difference between red and white wine, this was quite an ask. But ask away we did. Just for the record we worked in teams of four, were given six wines to sample, and a big black bucket to spit the bad ones into, so a lot of spitting. All we had to do was choose between TEN countries of origin. The choices being:- USA, UK, Spain, Chile, Argentina, Italy, Ukraine, Ghana, The Maldives, Jamaica, Taiwan, Strood, Alaska, Afghanistan, Mongolia, and last but by no means least - France. That being bad enough we were then given another TEN options for which wine it was. For instance for a white wine we were offered these choices:- Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Pinto Gris, Verdiccio, Sauvignon Blanc, Chablis, Vino Verde, Blended Rubbish, Gavi di Gavi, Zinfandel, Elderflower Wine, Sugar Water, Vimto, Cream Soda, Riesling, Muscat, Chenin Blanc, and last but by no means least - Viognier. Some may say - TOO MANY CHOICES TO MAKE A DECISION BASED ON ANYTHING BUT SHEER LUCK. I say 'some' may say. may I make it clear at this juncture that this does NOT include me. I am merely recording the event for posterity. So we all tasted, swilled, sucked our teeth, swallowed or spat, cogitated, discussed, argued and finally made our team decisions. Six wines, six possible countries, six possible wine types, maximum points = 12 per team. How on God's great earth Bell's Bellends (Nick's team names, don't blame me) got 6 is anyone' guess. On the bright side Brian's Belles got 4. The also-rans of Branning's Buggers and Brice's Ballsacks got a measly 1 each. Losers!!! Our hosts and organisers - Nick and Chris. Having tasted and spat we de-camped to the restaurant for a well earned plate of Bangers and Mash. And a quiz. Fifteen arcane questions involving the sexual, political, economic historical, psychological, mythical and practical use of wine. All capable of answering using GOOGLE. Brice's Ballsacks cracked that methinks!! The newly minted branch of the English Defense League (GDL. The GASS Defence league), who spent way to much competition time planning their attack on a poor defenseless solicitors office on the morrow, and drumming up support for said attack, went down with all paving slabs blazing on a wankers score of 5. Brian's Belles, who cheated like hell, but badly, got a poor 6, beaten even by the Bellends on 7, but the Ballsacks creamed it (as that is where the cream comes from - isn't it?) with 12. I'm sorry, 12 out of 15??? The questions were Mastermind daft, impossible to answer, but who cares. They still lost. The winners went on a wild celebration hearing they had won a wine tasting in London with model Carla Delevigne, but at such an extreme surcharge that they settled for a crystal wineglass each, and thought themselves lucky!! I hate Bellends! But fair play to the winners. The next up was the GDL (keep up, the GASS equivalent of the EDL, a rioters club) recruitment drive. The meet was for breakfast at the Tiger Moth PH before setting off to firebomb the Medway Enterprise Center (seriously?). Meet at 10.00am, bring your own petrol and bottle. Sorry, late news, the riot isn't until 8.00pm. slight GDL glitch. Nothing that can't be sorted. [GDL members, be aware that GCHQ AI will have already scanned this post and copped your names for future online prosecution - so don't tell them your names PIke, Owen Brunning, Gary Easdown, Phil Cockerton, Len Smith, just saying, be careful to keep it low key guys] After that came an impassioned and heartrending plea by the current Chairman to be re-elected next year, which was basically agreed - great guy that Branning. To cement his re-election Chairman Branning then organised a GASS golf day which has already garnered 18 players (and guaranteed that Keith will lose his membership of his golf club). Tuesday 27th August. Texas Scramble. Even weirder was that at 10.45pm most members were still at the tables, a comment on the comfy feel of the venue I guess. until someone shouted 'Tarmacers! A bunch of big sweaty smelly oily bastards had closed the exit to the car park on the trivial excuse of resurfacing half of Rochester. Bastards! But all good things have to come to an end and so well done Nick and Chris!!

A great evening out on the water, at least that is what we were promised. An opportunity to race around the Dock basin in Swan shaped pedalos, an opportunity not to be missed I hear you say. Well you would be wrong in that assumption. Dead wrong. We started the evening in fine form. The organisor being Graham (ably aided by Phil R), decided to copy Ron's ploy from last month - he gave everyone the postcode of the difficult to find car park. Or rather he gave everyone the postcode of his pretty easy to find office in Chatham. So we all went to Graham's office first, then one by one realised you can't float a boat from high up on the old A2. Rang around, got the actual postcode - and just like last month, all arrived an hour late. Which for some was a blessing! It meant that they didn't have to go 50 yards offshore, turn round once and head back. The ensuing chaos was a bit like arranging a 100 meter sprint race but failing to say in which direction everyone should run, or even bothering with a start and finish line, just shouting 'three-two-one-go!' and calling it a day. So the swans just pottled around a bit and then gave up and came in. It was a bit of a damp grey day so the opub was a better bet. Once everyone had clocked that the pub had a funny (and potentially expensive) wrinkle in their parking rules, as in if you forgot to 'check in' your car the bill was a modest £70 a car, we enjoyed a very good dinner. I have to be fair to graham and say wellish done. Not the normal effusive compliments handed out to organisers. Just OKish. Better luck next year.

Organised by Ray and Ron. This was a doozy. We were all given the exact address and postcode of the venue by Ron, very much the junior partner in the organisation of this mega-event. Only Ron, for reasons known only to Ron, decided to give us the address and postcode of an entirely different venue. It was indeed a Spitfire museum, just not the Spitfire museum we were booked into. Ron being Ron was late to the venue, in fact the last to arrive, apart from Ray, the main organiser, who weirdly did not turn up at all, as he had gone to the right place I guess. About an hour of total confusion ensued as even with the right postcode finally wrung from Ray, it was a bugger to find, but once found - a true gem. Not a museum at all but a fiercely private and well hidden Spitfire resoration factory with about 15 of the buggers inside in various states of repair and rebuild. Great guides, immensly experienced and knowledgable, gave us a fascinating tour of the place. Who knew? Well I suppose Ray knew, just not enough to give Ronaldo the correct address though. Luckily he gave us the right address for a very enjoyable pub lunch! Well done Ray (and Ron) for first of all finding out about the place, second for finding the actual place, and third for giving us such a laugh at the sending us to a totally different Spitfire museum in the first place. Classic!!