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This year the members decided to go a bit off piste and try somewhere a bit more off the beaten track for a change. So we alighted on the idea of visiting Albania, Tirana to be precise. Looks nice, doesn't it............................ MINUTES OF THE AGM MEETING AT THE END OF THIS BLOG One of the charms of travelling with GASS in days of yore was the pure stupidity evinced by our members. On the way out to our venue we could include literally forgetting passports, mislaying tickets, guns in luggage (admittedly fake, but a gun none the less to an X-ray machine), I could go on. On the way back in the coach from the hotel to the airport we would award the Mannequin Pis, a small sculpture of the little boy having a Jimmy in Brussels. Awarded for the most stupid act by any member on the trip. And boy were there some stupid acts over the years. Some even death defying, some just plain bonkers. But no more. Most groups as they get older start to lose the plot. This lot just seem to get wiser and craftier. No-one was late to the airport at awful o'clock in the morning, everyone made the gate (even if Len had to scamper the last 500 yards by dint of a slight lack of appreciate of how far the gate was - and if you have never seen Len scamper then trust me, it's a sight for sore eyes). That just left the trip itself as a venue for things to go wrong, but we failed. Everything went right. Well apart from one row of very tolerant passengers not getting the luxury of extra legroom on the flight courtesy of Ryanair re configuring the plane to suit themselves, not us (Mannequin Pis alert 1). Great hotel, The Rogner. Built in the early 90's when communism collapsed, it is still a lovely spot. City centre venue, beautiful tropical gardens round their pool and bar (a GASS must-have facility). Excellent food and top quality staff. A perfect base for four days rest and relaxation. The first night we enjoyed a walking tour of the centre with Leku, our Albanian fixer. Leku walked us from bar to bar to restaurant where we tried out the value-for-money aspects of visiting Tirana. Cheap as chips!!! Leku regaled us with tales of just how much fun it was living under the communist regime her grew up in until the fall in 1992. How he and his mates would inform on their parents, happily starve most of the time, and generally live in a medieval time warp while the rest of the world (North Korea excepted) went about modernising. We pointed out that Tirana had modernised more in the 30 years since the communists gave up then the UK has modernised in three times the time. He blamed corruption for all any any ills. We blamed bureaucracy, liberal lawyers and nimbys for our problems. Personally if corruption gets the big projects completed that fast and impressively - I'll take corruption over bureaucrats! A perfect shot of one of the bunkers left over from communist times, except that we are totally obscuring it with our arses. The following day the more intrepid members had a really enjoyable cycling tour of the city, going further out and further round this time. Before heading out to the sticks for a traditional Albanian dinner at an old army base in the countryside. The following day was a beach day in Albanian's top end resort of Golem, a bit up from Benidorm. Albanian is quite 1970's in its development. We started with lunch (as ever) in a trendy beach club and enjoyed a really good lunch where we must have impressed the waiter with our ability to down vast quantities of their finest wines. I guess this because the waiter himself then suggested 'shots'. Bellie added to the impression we actually wanted shots, which most of us didn't (Mannequin Pis alert 2) So shots it was! We started with a large Raki each, which everyone downed. Then unbidden, the waiter bought over another round of Vodka and somethings, which most of us downed. Then the bloody waiter, who was downing shots with us, went off and bought back a massive tray of large Jamisons Whiskey shots. Jamisons costs a fortune in the UK, and as the wine at this restaurant (Ayo Beach Club) was £80 a bottle my over-charge sensors were going crazy. Just how much was this lot going to cost????? Tony seemed unconcerned by the cost as he was caught emptying high end whiskey shots onto the floor between his legs (Mannequin Pis alert 3). At this point we asked for our bill........................... Amazingly the shots, some 50 or so, which in the UK would have come to at least £5 a shot, £250-300, were on the house!!! Love those Albanians!!! The next day was a range day followed by the AGM dinner (or late lunch as it ended up after an impassioned plea by Bellie, as he falls asleep around 8pm and so dinner is a stretch for him nowadays). So off we trotted to the shooting range in a modern complex near our hotel. Arrived, up to the desk, only to be told that we all needed passports or driving licences. Now I had done a recce weeks earlier and actually they had told me this, but as I always carry ID I had forgotten! (Mannequin Pis alert 4). Some members trotted off to get theirs from the hotel, then thought 'fuck it' and went to lie by the pool. Andy decided that he could charm the lady behind the till with photos of his passport on his phone. She said no!, he smiled beguilingly, she said no, he fluttered his Andy Burnham eyelashes, and she melted, and we were IN! Great weapons, good shooting by all. But the star of the show was RON. The phrase of the day was 'don't fuck with the accountant!'. Chest shots with a submachine gun, head shots with a pistol. Great grouping! Then it was on to ERA, our AGM venue. private room as, along with most restaurants in Tirana, they were packed even on a Monday! We looked the part in our Albanian hats and had a great evening. It was a blessing that we were in a private room, when we arrived at 6.00 the place was quiet, unlike us, who were noisy, sweary and by the end of the evening, drunk! The waiters, who were a bit glum at first, soon fell in with the general merrirment and by the end of the evening we laughing along with us (or at us, who cares?). As we staggered out we realised that whilst we had been carousing, the restaurant had filled to the gills, on a flipping Monday, packed!! Lucky we were closeted away from the nice Albanian people. Great meeting. Details below. Then it was back on the town in Bloku, the trendy area next to the hotel. Ready for a quite reasonable departure time of 9.00am. Ron of course missed that by 10 minutes (Mannequin Pis alert 5). Off to the airport and passing the automatic barriers with boarding cards on our phones. Andy (eyelash Andy of charming the lady at the range fame) had done yet anothet nice thing, what a guy! Because Len is a digital knobhead and could not figure out how to get his boarding pass on his phone, Andy had taken the precaution of downloading Len's as well as his own. PROBLEM - Andy's surname is SMITH, Len's surname is - you guessed it, SMITH. Andy did not foresee this potential conflict and so used Len's ticket to enter the airport security area. Len, unsurprisingly was then blanked! Andy sorted that one out without too much kerfuffle. Lesson learnt. Not!. At the boarding gate Andy, for reasons best known to himself, once again checked himself through as Len. Len then checked himself through as Len too. We-Waugh, We-Waugh, alarms sounded. Len was halted mid wobble. Massive queue halted. Andy was thankfully only yards away and tumbled to the fact that he had fucked up again! A long and involved explanation, involving Andy holding his passport beside his face and pleading "Look, this IS me!". Finally Len was allowed through. Finally we have the new owner of the Mannequin Pis, sorry Tony, last minute change (but only of the rules allow it as we were off the bus!). The rest of the homeward bound joureny was on time and a fitting end to a great weekend away. Well done GASS members for making so few errors and cock-ups, and for generally being wise, sensible and logical - oh how I pine for the old days when things went wrong from start to finish!! here's to next year!! Our illustrious Chairman joining an anti-tourism demonstration clad in the Albanian flag. A fitting conclusion to a great AGM. THE MINUTES OF THE ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING 2026 This was a well conducted meeting covering mainly the pressing issue of GASS OVERSPENDING. ELECTION OF OFFICERS: This went pretty smoothly. The only hiccup was a mild attempt by Owen to wriggle out of the post of Chairman by suggesting the flip-flop nija for the post, but as Wayne was in no way volunteering we decided to stick with Owen, who graciously accepted the mantle for another year, as did Ron and Brian. FINANCIAL REPORT: Due to both a reduction in members and last years AGM decision to increase spending on each meeting, these two factors combined to produce a loss of £1,917, reducing the cash fund to £3,972. Ron pointed out that at that rate we'd be broke in two years, not what the members wanted. During the day a whole raft of daft, potentially unworkable, some downright unfair, some just insane, suggestions were floated to overcome the issue. I won't bother to list them here. Suffice it to say the most sensible came from Phil. For those members that were not present please just accept that a whole host of ideas were discussed, but that this one, and its back-up logic, got a unanimous vote in favour for 2026/7. THE ISSUES NEEDING SOLVING ARE TWOFOLD. ISSSUE 1: We are drawing to much money from the fund. Our income from 19 members is £9,100. Currently we pay out £11,900. A £2,800 annual overspend. We must reduce the physical amount of money Ron hands out each month. ISSUE 2: Meetings cannot be funded from even the current budget. So we need to reduce the pressure on GASS funds at each meeting to make organisers jobs easier. The meetings allowance needs to be spent on less things. Phil came up with two solutions. ISSUE 1: Reduce the money allocated to each meeting to £900. Meetings are still PUB, ENTERTAINMENT and AWAYDAY, but each get £900. The balance of any cost is made up from a surcharge as appropriate. OUTCOME: The GASS fund pays out £9,900 from the £9,100 annual income. Still an annual deficit £800, but we'd hope for some funds being returned from cheaper meetings, so we can live with that. FAIRNESS: This means no increase in fees (which would have had to rise to £55-£60 a month) so the fee stays at £40 and is basically the cost of membership. It is NOT the full cost of meetings attendance. That means that those that attend the meetings pay more than those that can't make it. SO EXPECT TO PAY SOME SORT OF SURCHARGE EVERY TIME FROM NOW ON WHEN YOU ATTEND A MEETING. ISSUE 2: Wine will no longer be paid for from GASS funds. All beers, normal spirits (not sherry) and soft drinks are on the GASS bill all evening. If you want wine at the table you buy your own. By the glass, bottle or hogshead, YOU BUY YOUR OWN WINE. This will take a lot of pressure off the meetings bill. OUTCOME: Organisers get £900 given to them. They have to estimate the meeting cost and put their guesstimate of a surcharge on the GASS Whatsapp beforehand. If you attend the meeting you pay the surcharge. Any funds left over go back to Ron, if there is a shortfall then a quick whip round is in order. FAIRNESS: It will mean that those that don't drink so much at meetings are not subsidising those that do to the current level any more. Those that want decent wine with their meal can have it. Wine always makes up a disproportionate amount of the dinner bill and has been a regular source of discontent - this change kills two birds with one stone. FROM NOW ON THE GASS BILL DOES NOT PAY FOR ANY WINE AT THE TABLE. GUESTS AT MEETINGS It was agreed that whilst we are no seeking out new members, if a perfect person turned up there is no outright ban. On that basis GUESTS were welcome to attend our meetings. The cost of a guest is fixed at £50 plus the meeting surcharge. Paid by the member inviting the guest. MEETING ORGANISERS 2026-27 The draw was held to decide organiser teams for the coming year and the outcome is below. Note: We only have 19 names and for 11 months we have 22 slots, so I have added myself in as helper where only one name for a month was drawn out of the hat. OCTOBER - IAN/GARY - PUB NOVEMBER - ANDY/WAYNE - ENTERTAINMENT DECEMBER - OWEN/RON - XMAS JANUARY - LEN/JOHN - PUB FEBRUARY - STEVE/BRIAN - ENTERTAINMENT MARCH - NICK/PHIL AWAYDAY APRIL - HIGH/STUART - PUB MAY - RAY/PETE - ENTERTAINMENT JUNE - CHRIS/BRIAN - AWAYDAY JULY - GRAHAM/BRIAN - ENTERTAINMENT AUGUST - TONY - PUB SEPTEMBER - AGM ANY PROBLEMS - Let Brian know and we will sort it out. SOME ENTERTAINMENT IDEAS SUGGESTED AT THE AGM - STAND UP COMEDIAN - all GASS members have to tell one joke. CATAPULT COMPETITION - target shooting. AN OLD SCHOOL DINNER - dressed as we used to in the 80's, in sport jackets and GASS ties. PAINT GUN DUEL - One paint gun each, walk 20 steps, turn and fire! LAST PERSON TO LAUGH - Same as the TV show. AFTER DINNER SPEAKER - Get a decent speaker on an interesting subject. POOL & DARTS - In Rainham somewhere, is there a place? REMEMBER - You get £900 for your meeting. At the end of the meeting you are responsible for submitting a quick account to Ron and to return any funds unused promptly. If the meeting costs more than £900 you charge a surcharge, and if necessary have a whip round at the end or pay the excess yourself. You need to factor in all drinks at the bar, all entertainment, and all food. That is the meeting cost. Wine at the table is no longer part of your budget, members pay for that themselves, although be aware they can still order beers and other bar drinks on the tab at the table, only wine is excluded. AND THAT IS ABOUT THAT FOLKS. ANOTHER YEAR- ANOTHER AGM. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT YEAR ALREADY! AND NOW SOME MEETING IDEAS FROM CHATGPT I gave ChatGPT the list of our meetings over the years and asked for new ideas. Here is what it came up with.... Yes — you've already done an exceptionally broad range of activities, so I would avoid simply suggesting more versions of things you've already done (another karting evening, another casino, another tasting, etc.). Looking through your list, there are still some quite different experiences that could work particularly well for a group of 20 in the North Kent / Medway / Maidstone area, with London and the wider South East accessible. Ideas I'd investigate first Idea What you'd actually do Why it could work 1. Fireboat experience on the Thames Ride on a working/heritage fireboat and see the river from a completely different perspective Unusual and very social 2. Private brewery takeover – brewing your own beer Split into teams and actually brew beer, with tasting afterwards Builds on your beer visits but is much more hands-on 3. Blacksmithing day Forge a knife, bottle opener, poker or other object Very different from anything on your list 4. Glassblowing Work with a glass artist and make your own piece Excellent group experience 5. RIB Thames speedboat challenge Teams compete in navigation/time challenges on the Thames Combines boats, speed and competition 6. Vintage aircraft flying experience Group visit followed by individual flights in historic aircraft Particularly good for a group interested in machinery 7. Private steam train driving experience Visit a heritage railway and, where available, have a go at driving/operating a locomotive Memorable and very different 8. Fish-and-chip trawler/fishing trip Charter a fishing boat and have a competitive fishing day Particularly easy to combine with dinner 9. Forensic investigation evening Crime-scene investigation, fingerprints, evidence and solving a staged crime Similar spirit to your police museum but much more interactive 10. Lock-picking / escape engineering workshop Learn the mechanics of locks and attempt increasingly difficult challenges Great for competitive groups 11. Private whisky blending session Create your own whisky blend and take bottles home More sophisticated than a conventional tasting 12. Sausage-making competition Teams make sausages from scratch, judged blind afterwards Very good fun for 20 13. Oyster farming / oyster shucking Visit an oyster farm, learn about production and compete at shucking Very different and potentially excellent around Kent/Essex 14. Bell-ringing competition You've done church bell ringing, but a proper team competition could make it completely different Surprisingly competitive 15. Medieval combat experience Armour, shields and controlled medieval combat A natural extension of your jousting/sword activities 16. Hovercraft experience Drive/operate a hovercraft and race against the others Highly unusual 17. Steam engine / traction-engine driving Learn to operate a vintage traction engine Very "boys' day out" and unusual 18. Private auction-room evening Professional auctioneer teaches bidding, valuation and auction tactics; teams bid with fictitious money Particularly suited to businessmen 19. Property development challenge Teams are given a fictitious property and budget and compete to produce the best development scheme Plays to your group's business background 20. Dragon-boat racing Teams of 10 race each other Perfect for 20 people and genuinely competitive 21. Blind wine-blending challenge Teams create a wine blend from several components and have it judged Different from ordinary wine tasting 22. Survival challenge Fire lighting, shelter building, navigation, water purification and outdoor cooking Much more memorable than another conventional activity 23. Gold panning / prospecting day Learn prospecting techniques and compete for the biggest "find" Quirky and different 24. Traditional boat-building workshop Teams construct or assemble something that is then tested on water Excellent team activity 25. Private railway signal-box experience Learn to operate signals, points and railway procedures Fascinating for a group that has already enjoyed railways 26. Crane / heavy machinery challenge Operate different pieces of plant under supervision and compete for accuracy Very compatible with your JCB/digger interests without repeating them 27. Professional auctioneer evening Teams receive £1,000 of imaginary money and bid against one another on unusual lots Could become extremely competitive 28. Cocktail chemistry / molecular gastronomy Make unusual cocktails and food using liquid nitrogen, smoke, foams etc. Different from your previous cocktail masterclass 29. Black-tie murder mystery Dinner with professionally acted characters and a murder to solve Works particularly well with 20 30. Private London Underground tour Behind-the-scenes access to historic/closed railway infrastructure Excellent "you can't normally do this" experience A few more unusual ones These are the sort of activities I'd particularly consider because your group seems to enjoy slightly eccentric, competitive and memorable experiences: Sheepdog trial — each team learns to work with a trained sheepdog. Falconry hunting simulation rather than another static falconry display. Traditional pole-lathe woodturning — everyone makes something to take home. Cooperage — make or repair an oak barrel. Cigar rolling masterclass — with a proper Cuban/Latin American cigar expert. Leatherworking — make your own belt, wallet or briefcase. Knife-forging workshop — considerably more hands-on than your knife-throwing evening. Gin distilling workshop — each person creates his own gin recipe. Cheese-making competition. Bread/pizza oven building — teams construct and then use their own oven. Traditional sailboat racing. Thames lock-keeper experience. Canal narrowboat challenge — teams navigate a boat through locks. Dartford Crossing / Thames tunnel engineering visit. Quarry blasting/engineering demonstration — where public access can be arranged. Private fire-station experience — appliance, hose and rescue challenges. Professional stunt-driving course. Rally co-driver experience. Off-road motorcycle trial. Trial-bike team competition. Land-yacht racing on a beach. Kite-buggy racing. Powerboat navigation challenge. Sailing yacht match race. Crab-catching / coastal foraging competition. Traditional English cider-making workshop. Chocolate truffle-making competition. Professional bread-and-butter knife skills competition. Butler/etiquette challenge — deliberately done as a humorous gentleman's competition. Pub games pentathlon — but using obscure traditional games rather than the ones you've already done. World record attempt — choose something achievable for 20 people and try to establish a group record. One idea I particularly like for your group "The Businessmen's Challenge Day" Rather than one activity, make the evening/day a five-event competition, with teams of four. For example: Mini excavator precision challenge Blind wine/whisky identification Auction bidding challenge Navigation/logic challenge Driving or boat challenge Keep a running league table throughout the year. The winning team gets a proper trophy at your December dinner. That would give you something different from your existing individual evenings, while making use of the competitive nature of many of your previous activities. HOW IS THAT FOR SOME IDEAS??????

Len really put his heart and soul into this one! He had an idea and he ran with it. He chose a fair location to balance out the meeting locations over the year, The Yew Tree pub in Sandling, down a little single track road, real rural country location, very pretty pub. Just a shame about the non-stop roar of the traffic thundering by on the A249 about 50 yards away and 30 yards up in the air! No matter. Even though it was only a pub meeting (therefore not needing any entertainment), Len had gone the whole hog and arranged for a fascinating game of STICKY GOLF. Everyone loved it! It was superb. As you can see below Len was a star player......... THIS MAN IS A NATURAL GOLFER He aced it, with a big fat zero, but was pipped at the post by others with zero, in fact everyone except Graham with 10, Owen (obviously) with 30, and the WINNER = Ian with 100. Well played everyone. ANOTHER STICKY GOLF STAR IN THE MAKING It was then in to dinner for the by now traditional moans over wines by the glass, which no matter what anyone says, has bought the bar bill into the zone of reasonableness. This still did not stop Stuart and Phil complaining that they had not drunk as much as the others, so were awarded a complimentary sweet each, despite the meal being advertised as two courses. Len, ever generous, felt that the £900 budget would cover the bill and so decided to only charge a £10 surcharge for the steak/lamb dishes, not the £10 across the board surcharge as advertised plus another £10 for the steak/lamb. Silly old Len!!! The actual bill came to £962 (including an extra £18 for the two puds) so Len kindly paid the difference out of his own pocket. What actually happened is that Len then worked out the meeting was a joint one between himself and Brian, so he made Brian pay the difference!. His justification was all the hard work he had put in to organise the meeting was justification, as if justification was needed! WELL DONE AND THANK YOU TO LEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Andy and Steve (or at least one of the duo) had obviously found a bird one of them though to be a song-bird. We all appeared at Oliver's restaurant in Rochester ready for a big surprise. It was advertised as a big surprise - and it was. A big surprise I mean. We all assumed this lovely lady who was singing lovely songs to us as we dined was going to proceed to something new and more interesting and maybe more exotic than warbling old songs by The Carpenters. By 'more interesting' you will have to read between the lines. She didn't. So Andy sang to us some more to assuage our disappointment. He failed. But as we always say - it's only a Tuesday, what else would you do on a Tuesday if you weren't out having a slap up meal with your mates, and all you can drink, AND songs from The Carpenters, and all for £40. Well done Andy and Steve!

The second "If it ain't dangerous, don't do it" meeting in just three months, following the nerve jangling slide down the Helix last month. Organised by Owen, this would have been a well attended event if it were not for yet another sad loss from The Castle Club, following the passing of a well liked member who provided for a well oiled wake which seemed more like fun than being dropped 21 stories to some GASS members. His loss, our gain. It meant the budget stretched not only to this high priced entertainment, but also to a slap up meal of steaks all round, with no need for a surcharge!!! Eight intrepid members filed up, four at a time, onto the scaffold, to be trussed like turkeys and bolted to a frame that, was to say the least, a Heath-Robinson contraption. Some said it looked like something Hugh had knocked up but i felt that was unfair. On the people who actually knocked it up. The videos and photos tell the story. This what it looked like to a spectator ........ This what it looked (and felt) like to a man mad enough to climb on the flipping thing, having taken leave of his senses............ I am of course referring to Pete, who at 86 really should know better - good on you Pete!!!!! If it ain't dangerous, don't do it! Once the adrenalin rush died down it was time for beers and steaks at The Big Easy, well worth the wait I can tell you. Won't be swinging like that any time soon! Good call Owen, and respect to the swingers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An AWAYDAY meeting held at Bluewater. Starting with a competition of F1 Simulator driving on three F1 tracks. Top flight simulators and a very tight result, The leader board is a bit blurred - but reads Owen, Brian, Andy, Gary, Wayne, the others were just also-ran Owen and Brian even beat Hamilton. OK, OK, he's not so fast nowadays. I get it. Then it was on to lunch at Gorden Ramseys Bread Street Kitchen, plus copious wines. The picture below is the restaurant, pretty impressive??? Shame nobody took a picture of us dining in style. However, once lunch was over it was time for a few beers before mvoing on to The HELIX, the famous sculpture built for the 2012 Olympics, and impressive it is. We were all here in 2012 when it opened, booked, ticketed, ready to slide, message on my phone - "SLIDE CLOSED". Weather conditions were not right, too wet. So here we all are again, booked, ticketed, 14 years older (and no wiser). We roll up at the desk and guess what - "SLIDE CLOSED". again! Reason, the weather. Apparently if there is too much mositure in the air then the mats slow down and it is possible to get stuck in the tunnel, normally some 10 to 20 meters up the tunnel at the bottom. Not really a safe outcome. Easier to close. I wept bitter tears of frustration and explained to the lovely team of youngsters running it that we would all be dead before we get another go. They HAD to let us slide, or none of us could go happliy to our graves!! Amazingly they relented. Despite knowing for a solid gold fact that we would ALL get jammed in the tunnel and have to get out of a big wet bag, turn onto our knees in a very confined space, then crawl backwards for what is actually a long way in the dark. And most of us in our 60's, 70's and even 80's. That took some balls to just totally ignore Health and Safety, and won the young team a fifty quid tip! Good guys! Not quite sure why we needed the silly hats? Not at all sure they realised Pete's age. Bloody good show Pete!! It;s not an easy start, as you can see. lots of wiggling around and then Wheeeeeeeeee! And this is what a true gentleman looks like going down a slide, the only mistake was by this time the correct rendition would have been "God save the KING". The guys at the top did tell me it was more fun if you screamed! That bit of excitement over we repaired to Cabana, a nice Brazilian steak restaurant for dinner and drinks. Another great day for GASS. And all within the budget of £40 a head. Amazing!!

Eight Intrepid Warriers make their way to London Town..... Things getting a little frantic at one stage of the battle!! As usual we start with a few liveners at a pub at the top of Drury Lane before heading over to Sandbox VR for a 30 minute battle against hundreds of zombies, they literally kept coming!!!! In two teams of four we upheld the honour of England. Hugh and Brian upheld more than most having cheated and spend £5 each to buy Gatling Guns, the best weapon by far, by dint of their being an extra charge. It took ages to suit up with complicated wrist and ankle bands to locate us in the room and active vests that indicated when you were injured and even thumped you in the back when one of the critters landed on you. Amazing technology. Once it the room it was all down to teamwork. As you can see above, they do actually jump on your back and you either shoot them off by aiming next to your ear and tryig not to blow it off, or your teammate shoots them off you as a favour. This still is from a video of us fighting, and this is exactly what we see as well through the VR goggles. Quite incredible! The video above gives you a good idea of what it was like. And the amazing warriers you have to thank for their service - "Keep England zombie free!" That was our motto. Apologies to the other team, I lost their video. Once around a thousand zombies had gone to meet their maker, we went to meet our lunch. At ROKA, www.rokarestaurant.com, for a tasting menu and copious bottles of wine. Having done justice to that it was off to the bar at The Royal Opera House, followed by beers at The Coach & Horses in Bow Street. Great day and many thanks go out to Owen for the organising.

GASS TROPHIES - PUB MEETING - Courtesy of Phil at the good old Rose & Crown in Hartlip. Its like a second home to GASS. BACK ROW - GOLF TROPHY, SHOOTING TROPHY, BIG COCK, SILLY SAUSAGE, MANNEQIN PIS. FRONT ROW - JCB RACING TROPHY, YARD OF ALE COMPETITION MISSING IN ACTION - THROW UP GOLF, ARM WRESTLING, GASS COFFIN, BREAD BOWL COVERING THE BIG COCK - THE CHAIRMANS NECKLACE It was lovely to see the trophies on display and get a memorial picture of (almost) all of them in one place at one time. The interesting points bought up at the meeting were as follows:- The Yard of Ale trophy was made by Steve, in Woolwich Arsenal workshops entirely at the cost to the taxpayer. Hand blown miniature yard of ale, solid mahogany base, rough cost? About £500 even back then in 1984! The JGB trophy - the same, but the model JCB certainly cost less than a hand blow glass item. The Cock, from Chris's chanisaw meeting is impressive to say the least. The Manneqin Pis was not awarded at the last AGM as Brian has been coveting it for the past three years, and so it was awarded to Tony for appalling driving of a golf buggy. Wow! Big stuff. Eeven Tony felt that was a bit tame. The Throw-up Golf trophy. Allegations were made against an absent member who was accused of garnishing (legal term for seizing, or as we say, nicking) the trophy for showing off in his billard room. Will all members with a Billiard room please stand up. Nick. The Chairman's Bread Roll Bowl is also missing. The bowl being famous for being the cause of Ex-Chairman Brice's legal action to prove bread roll throwing was a terrible and a non-GASS behaviour being thrown out of court. Imagine the fuss when an actual Chairmans Bread Roll Bowl, given to the chair to hold his soft doughy ammunition was produced to the jury!!! Brice lost the case and faced costs. The cost was contimually being reminded as to how bad his selective memory has become. Maybe John has it. The Silly Sausage Award was (I think) awarded to Hugh for one of his solar panels that came adrift and smashed four very expensive cars, silly sausage! BY THE WONDERS OF FAKE NEWS, BRIAN BOTH MANAGED TO TAKE THIS PHOTO, AND BE IN IT. THE BEST GASS TROPHY - AWARDED FOR BEING THE BIGGEST PRAT ON AN AGM The famous Mannequin Pis, he deserves something better than badly driving a Golf Cart in 2026 in Albanian. Come on guys! Be bigger prats this year. Well done Phil, meeting under budget, again. See Andy, I told you £40 was fine as a monthly fee, it was fine in 1995 and it is fine now. If only I was Chancellor of the Exchequer, none of the UK's current dramas would have happend. Nobody listens to me! Probably nobody even reads this rubbish. I am wasted on you lot!

After a bit of confusion a quick AWAYDAY was organised by someone. An evening of ELECTRONIC DARTS and a nice steak..... The confusion is understandable as the name of the two organisers for this meeting had been on the website since October 2025, and repeated in messages on Whatsapp subsequently. So how could the organisers, Graham and Ron, possibly be expected to know it was their meeting???? I ask you!? So at short notice a meeting was cobbled together. It involved us meeting in a quasi pub, one that neither bothered with any recognisable beers (certainly no Bitter) or any persons recognisable as staff (certainly not trained staff at any rate). After some slow service drinking non-branded beers we repaired to the darts venue. We entered another bar, strikingly similar to the one we had just left and were then ushered into the darts room. Two dart boards.... No real instructions, and best of all, NO FLOOR MARKING to deliniate where you throw from. The start of the Oche. 7 feet 9 1/4 inches from the board (2.37m for the fussy). The room must have cost the thick end of ten grand, but no bastard could be bothered to fix a carpet strip to show where to throw from. Amazing! So we started chucking away with gay abandon...................... BELLIE, THE ACTUAL LOSER, LOOKING LIKE AN ACTUAL WINNER THE ACTUAL WINNER - SCORING AN ACTUAL ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY! THE ACTUAL WINNERS = WAYNE & BRIAN - ON THE WALL FOR ALL TO SEE. So after an hour of chucking we decided that the excitement was too much for us and we scarpered over to the Argentinian restaurant down the road. Here we encountered the third group of staff who were a bit short on training. The chef did a bang up job on rustling up 15 steaks, all different, all cooked to order, all bloody brilliant, best steak I have had in years, and I've eaten loads in Argentina and thought they were amazing. No competition, these were superb. So were the chips that should have accompanied them. No such luck. "Chef, 15 orders for steak and chips". "No problem, I'll cook all the steaks first, then once they have been sent out I'll start on the chips, once they have cooked and been sent out 20 minutes later, I'' start grinding the pepper for the pepper sauce, no worries". So we enjoyed an excellent steak, finished those. Then some time later we were served some lovely chips, and after they were finished we were offered some sauces. Quite odd in so many ways. But damn good steak!! The price for the whole thing was a source of some amusement. Goodness knows how many beers, expensive steaks, fine wines, plus darts....... The budget was £1400 for the meeting. Ron, who had been advocating total clarity over budgets due to an emerging trend of members taking the meeting budget in cash at the start, paying over what was demanded by the establishment, then pocketing the balance rather than handing it straight back, was surprisingly uncooperative when asked how much it had cost. Ron's excuse was that the cost exceeded the budget and out of the goodness of his heart he had paid the shortfall himself! Good man Ron! Is all I can say. Reminds us all of Andy's meeting a couple of years back. Great meeting, great food and drink, way over budget, and he treated us too. That is much better trend than simply keeping a surplus as though it is some sort of bonus for serving sandwiches instead of steaks!!!! For those that give a shit the actual winner of the darts was Owen with 139, Gary second with 110, Best teams were Owen and Tony, and Owen and Pete. So probably OWEN just pips us all at the post.

Slap up dinner and a music quiz, courtesy of Chris and Ray Well courtesy of Chris actually. Ray's sole input was to tell everyone where, when, what. Ray failed on all three counts and told everyone precisely the square root of fuck all. Cue rapid ring round at the last moment by Chris. We all turned up at the appointed hour, miles from anywhere, on a dark and rainy night to be enthralled by a very hairy man and an amazingly complicated and difficult music quiz. A very good music quiz, it has to be said. Good if you had any knowledge of music. Not so good with a load of not just 'tone deaf' musical ignoramuses, but actually functionally deaf ignoramuses. 30 questions on close typed answer sheets, advanced audio questions played on a 1930's reel-to-reel tape recorder, and teams of four. It hardly behoves me to announce the winners, but here we go. ME! Note the amazing winners cup! Note the amazing T shirts! Chris (and Ray) had very cleverly come up with the wrinkle that you had to be wearing a rock concert T shirt to avoid a £5 fine. Everyone except the other organiser (Ray) managed. Then the pub served the most amazing three course dinner since we last dined at La Gavroche. To be fair to them they were constrained by our budget, but they still pushed the boat out for GASS, proper pub grub. On the bright side they contributed to the GASS annual budget as the whole bang-shoot came in £280 under. a massive saving, and well done Chris (and Ray). So a massive thank you to our quizmaster who did a cracking job, mainly in awarding first place to the best team at the table, good call! He knew to thank 'The Father of GASS', mainly because Pete slipped him a tenner at the start. NEXT MEETING - GASS TROPHIES. Bring out your trophies! Bring out your trophies! Yard of Ale, Throw Up Golf, JCB, Mannaquin Pisse, Golf Cup, The Big Turd, et al..... You don't lose them, we all just want to see them, and re-award some.

A nice bite of buffet and a sketch artist in a dive bar in Chatham..... What a way to kick off the new year.......... Organised by John, a man who in the past has single headedly kept the annual GASS budget on track by producing excellent meetings for well under the allowed level of expenditure, keep up the good work! So (as I am reliably informed, I was not present, I am writing this drivel from a beach bar in Zanzibar) the meeting was held in fire trap of a cellar under a micro brewery in the less salubrious part of good old Medway, which is already well under the normal salub levels for The Garden of England. One way in, one way out. Could have been the end of GASS if the buffet had included sparklers in a cake setting afire the ceiling!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I am reliably informed there was an excellent buffet, and a welcome opportunity for members to circulate and converse, as opposed to rush to sit at a big long table and talk only to the person unlucky enough to have sat next to them. Plus a sketch artist.......................... Who sketched this..................... What they looked like as charred corpses after the cellar fire caught GASS unaware The sketch was then auctioned and a stand off not dissimilar to when Brian bought the 'massive wooden cock' for a small fortune, JB was tricked into overbidding an apparently keen Nick by £1, and ended up with it for £41. In grateful amazement that his work had sold for more than the value of the paper it was scribbled on - the sketch artist then knocked off his take on John's perplexed visage on having to cough up an extra £41 towards GASS funds thus reducing the meeting costs yet further. It is always worth meeting organisers considering the buffet option as it does lead to more circulating and chatting which can make a nice change and certainly cuts cost. Judging from the comments on WhatsApp I see the meeting was a great success and was a good way to kick off the year. Well done JB. 2025 was a good year for meetings and a bad year for the membership, losing Ollie, Keith and Phil R, and none to the grim reaper! All to getting fed up with one or more of us, or in some cases depositing substances on one of us. Let's try harder this year chaps!! Be nice!!

CHRISTMAS AT THE IVY, CANTERBURY A formal (well, funny jackets to brighten the event, make it more festive), and SECRET SANTA. A really good turnout for a private room and full festive gubbins bash. A variety of festive jackets in evidence. Met in a local boozer for pre-loading before diving into the high priced (but very nice) venue already nicely toasted. Secret Santa gave us it's normal entertainment, its normal complete inability to keep the rules simple, and the now traditional sight of Wayne in a blow up suit of some sort. Unlike previous secret Santa debacles this one did not end in indiscriminate damage to the venue, which as they really do know how to charge was probably a wise move on our part. Despite this it was very funny so I will let the pictures tell the story............... Starting with THE GASS GRACE, located by Tony, apparently from years and years ago in the days of yore...... THE GASS GRACE - AN ODE TO LYING, STEALING. CHEATING, AND DRINKING Gentlemen, if you must lie, lie to save a friend. If you must steal, steal a ladies heart. If you must cheat, cheat death. If you must drink, then drink with GASS!!! Well said that man, and so we continued on into the night, wrapping paper torn asunder as we plundered the pile of gifts..... I AM NOT AMUSED - STUPID BOYS! ANOTHER GREAT CHRISTMAS, WELL DONE TONY!!

Held at OLIVERS in Rochester and organised by Nick and Wayne, great concept, great meeting, really, really funny. Private room in Oliver's with a very nice dinner. The members were introduced to Joe, our resident magician for the evening, who performed a few warm up tricks and then we were split into four teams and each team was taken outside and taught one magic trick. Then we had the performances. First up was The Chairman, who did a really good trick involving a quite complicated manipulation of a great big dice in a box, very clever. Followed by Chris performing, or part performing, part Joe getting stuck in, a card trick. Not bad. Then Phil balancing a cup of water on John's head with out spilling a drop. Then came the celebrity act of the evening. Brian and Debbie McGee, a truly wonderful magician accompanied by his lovely and gorgeous assistant Debbie (aka Bellie, and boy, did he show his belly). As the person writing this drivel I would normally praise myself to the heavens, but in this case I have to say that full credit goes to Debbie for true comedic value added to my natural gift for magic. Bloody brilliant! A really enjoyable evening was had by all with a great twist on the table magic concept. Almost as good as the GASS magic night held many years ago where we all purchased a quality trick and performed in front of the membership one at a time. That was back in March 2016..... If you want a walk down memory lane then use the link below to access the old minutes from 2012-2016. Scroll down through some hilarious memories of meetings gone by to near the end of the file, and there we all were. It really is worth scrolling through our history. There are actually FOUR volumes in all going right back to where the GASS book left off. And here is another memory from those old days of yore. Gallagher's Quarry, 2016, with the biggest stone ever dug out! The running joke that Brian wanted to be buried on his country estate (love saying that!) under a fuck off great big stone. Well Ian obliged with the 5.4 ton monster back in 2016, and Hugh obliged a few weeks back by bringing up a 22 ton 360 excavator and shifting the bugger to its final resting place in the new Stede Court Estate Garden of Remembrance. Now partially finished to honour first the passing of Sara's dad, and hopefully me in 30 years time. I really do recommend trawling through VOLUMES 1-4 of the old minutes, it is so funny, and may even contain ideas for re-runs of old meetings! Well done Nick and Wayne, great evening, many thanks!